....fAlLiNg BaCk In LoVe...ThIs TiMe WiTh HiP hOp....

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Well i recently got Commons new CD named "Universal Mind Control"...let me just say that i cant stop listening to it...finding forever was great but this album is AMAZING! Punch drunk love if my fav feat kanye and pharell. it is my new theme song...LoL
i dont know just latly i have just been thinking about my life and the people that are in it. WIth brandon i really enjoy spending time with him and he makes me laugh and when we hang out he makes me all around just happy...but im not sure if he is wanting more than that "friendship"...i want someone to send me messages randomly saying nice things, or someone who wants to hug me and cuddle and hold my hand... im honestly tired of the single life...i want someone to come home to each day and to know that i have someone one. i dont like the uncertanty or worse the lack of commitment. i mean the "title" to me isnt important...its the other things like substance and actions...thats what i am looking for. i know he was hurt but so was i...im really afraid to talk to him about it b/c i just dont know how he will react or what he will say. i mean i asked if he could hold my hand and he said "i was F'in shid up" (his words exactly)...i dunno...im just at a lost...but i am more afraid than anything.
latly i have been thinking about doug...yes i hate to admit it...i dont know why. i hav not called or texted him in a loooong while which is a big step and improvement. i just know how good he did treat me...he treated me the way that i wanted to be treated and i meet guys today and i question and ask myself if i will ever feel that way again. i dont know...i guess i just have been single too long now and just want something. but i will be patient and not just settle...but i have a record of getting people that i dont want...and the people that i DO want usually dont want the same things as me...so thats why i am so afraid.
i mean with brandon i dont hold back at all...i support him sooo much and i try to just be there for him in any way. dont get me wrong he does alot for me too. i guess i just want more...he is a great guy...great personality...and i love spending time with him. but i cant even get him to hold my hand...or take me on a real date...LoL...i guess u get what you can right? i dunno...its just a hard postition for me...not to mention heart day is coming up....
well here is one of my fav common songs...i think i have shared it before but i must share it again...its called i want you and its on last years album finding forever. im sure ill share songs from his most recent, this song is just speaking to me now...and besides i gotta go watch brandon play...LoL
....................until next time..............

Once the love was strongNow it's long, long goneCause the pain, pain now as a stormI would make, growing oldCause I want you, cause I want youI want you, I want youI've been thinking bout, I've been thinking boutI've been thinking bout you latelyThoughts take me to when we were closeAddicted to your love, feel I need another doseI know it's a feeling that should be long goneThings seem to come up when I hear our songGolden brown girl, it seemed so longSince I heard your voice, where did the king go wrong?Emotions that, that they linger onI guess cause I never knew a love so strongSo many hot girls I need your warmThe taste of your mouth girl I need your warmGood food and love I need your warmThis here was made before we were bornA dreamer so I'm a keep dreaming onIt's kind of like 'The Breakup' with Jen and Vince VaughnOnce the love was strongNow it's long, long goneCause the pain, pain now as a stormI would make, growing oldCause I want you, cause I want youI want you, I want youCause I want you, cause I want youI want you, I want youThey say you don't know, know, know what you gotTill what u got is goneYeah I write such and such, yo a lot but the feelings not as strongWe were like 2 birds that were able to flyI try to pick the right words to say to the skySome days I would try but wasn't able to cryI never been good at saying goodbyeI take a deep breath when the times is hardWhen I reminisce over you, my GodI spent many years trying to be the heartthrobI guess it's only right that I got my heart robbedThe scent of a room that reminds me of youA hint of perfume it reminds me of youTake a look at the moon it reminds me of youHope the stars and the gods align me and youWe do what we do and we do what we liveI love this way cause I got it as a kidWith so much to give from it, I never hidThe love that I wrote on the mirror it got smearedMy friends say it was a change for the betterBut I say, girl you changed my foreverRelationships they can be as strange as the weatherRain or sun we can sing this togetherCause I want you, cause I want youI want you, I want youCause I want you, cause I want youI want you, I want you

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