...sMiLe...

Sunday, March 27, 2011

well my ipod is still broken...and i am still waiting on apple to send me my new one
until then i am borrowing erica's ipod
it has A LOT of random songs...some good...most bad...LoL

but in the past week i have def found a few that i have fallen in love with...one that fits my mood PERFECTLY would be "Sure Thing" by Miguel....

Love You Like a Brother


Treat you like a friend

Respect you like a lover



You could bet that

Never gotta sweat that [x4]



If you be the cash

I'll be the rubberband

You be the match

Imma be your fuse

Boom!

Painter baby you

Could be the muse

I'm the reporter baby

You could be the news

Cause your the cigarette

And I'm the smoker

We raise a bet...

Cause your a joker

Truth tho...

You are the chalk

And I could be the blackboard

And you can be the talk

And I could be the walk



Even when the sky comes falling

Even when the sun don't shine

I got faith in you and I

So put your pretty little hand in mine

Even when we're down to the wire babe

Even when it's do or die

We can do it baby simple and plain

cuz this love is a sure thing



You could bet that

Never got to sweat that [x4]



You could be the lover

I'll be the fighter babe

If I'm the blunt

You could be the lighter babe

Fire it up!

Writer babe

You could be the quote

If I'm the lyric baby

You could be the note

Record that!

Saint, I'm a sinner

Prize, I'm a winner

And it's you

What can I do to deserve that

Paper baby

I'll be the pen

Say that I'm the one

Cause you are ten

real and not pretend!



Even when the sky comes fallin

Even when the sun don't shine

I got faith in you and I

So put your pretty lil hand in mine

Even when were down to the wire babe

Even when it's do or die

We can do it babe simple and plain

Cause this love is a sure thing



Rock wit me baby

Let me hold you in my arms

Talk with me baby

[x2]



This love

Between you and I

As simple as pie baby

Such a sure thing

Oh is it a sure thing [x2]



Even when the sky comes fallin

Even when the sun don't shine

I got faith in you and I

So put your pretty little hand in mine

Even when we're down to the wire babe

Even when it's do or die

We can do it baby simple and plain

This love is a sure thing

Love you like a brother

Treat you like a friend

Respect you like a lover
 
 
 

...MaRcH mAdNeSs...

Friday, March 25, 2011

well needless to say it is my fav. time of the year....MARCH MADNESS

it is my fav. HOLIDAY (and yes it is a holiday to me!) hence why i have been lacking in posting on my blog. i spend countless hours watching the games and cheering for the underdog teams to beat out the top seeds. even tho my bracket is all messed up, i enjoy seeing a good game with a small team that is playing as if it is their last game EVER.  i LOVE basketball!
Speaking of...i got to go to the games in chicago this year!! it was a first.
got to watch the Purdue game and the Notre Dame game.
i had a blast and it made me miss playing ball so much.

look at my tickets (so shiny!!) LoL...the flordia/Notre Dame game...the VCU/Purdue game...
see how close we are to the court!!! :)

this month has def. had alot going on for me!

went to chicago for the concert at the end of feb. ran to new orleans for spring break, then back to chicago for the march madness games. these past few weeks have been super busy and crazy. now it is back to reality and i gotta settle back into my regular routine.

i found a blog a while back and i read it when i can remember and this last post was the one that hit home. all of the expereinces i have had (in life but more so with dating) was explained so well! everything this person said is exactly what i have been thinking and feeling and they put it into words perfectly...

http://loveaddictnyc.com/

it is an awesome blog and the thing i loved the most about it was what they had to say to close the entry...

"Because instead of turning our attention away from me and steering it toward a he the has the potential to become a we- we’ve gotta learn how to have the me, have the he, and have the we, without losing all three."

And this is so true! i know that when it comes to me meeting a guy, my thoughts are consumed with the possiblity of "this" and the possibility of "that" that i am so blind to certain things that i would normally notice. you have to learn the balance and learn not to lose yourself and the efforts to find that "Mr. Right" and learn to distinguish the difference between that and the "Mr. Right Now". and i will say that i am still learning how to do that and belive that i have def. gotten alot better at it.

i know it would make me upset to see a guy choose someone else over me. and insted of seeing it as a blessing i would see it as why did they not choose me because of all my qualities. because investing in me would be like investing in their future. i am going places and for their social status i would be a good option. and i am glad that i have learned not to think that way anymore. i think over the past year i have def grown to learn my worth and to be happy with what cards the Lord deals me. i may not be happy with the situation but i always know that there is a reason for it.

I am learning to love and embrace EVERYTHING about me. the things i can or can not change. i am on this current journey with learning how to do/maintain my hair. for those of you who dont know, dealing with african american hair is a journey on its own! LoL

i have been "natural" all my life. never had a perm or n e other chemicals on my hair. i would usually just flat iron it or "press"it.  But as i am growing into woman-hood i am learning to embrace the curly -kinky - nappy wig the lord blesssed me with. it is fun to see the beauty that comes with the hard work of trying to figure it out. i had to cut a 1 to 2 inches off recently because my ends were "heat trained" and some parts "heat damaged". im learning all these terms and all these techniques.  If it wasnt for you tube i would totally be lost on this journey. LoL.  dont worry i will post pix.

 pix of me washing my hair...cutting it...and 2 diff styles i have tried so far :)

Well other than that life is good....God is good...and i will contiune to strive for those things i keep working towards. :)



...MaRdI gRaS...

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

well this past weekend i got to go to....

MARDI GRAS!!!

This was my first time and it was ALOT of fun.
went with my roomie and some bartenders that i work with.
it wasnt as bad as i expected.
i am happy that i did get to go and see something new and do something new
it was a little chilli outside
but it was def warmer than the crappy midwest cold!

i think that is it a great thing. there were alot of people (which got annoying at times)
we would head out pretty early in the day and stay out until about 10 or 11. anything after that was just way too much (to much people...drunk ppl...LoL)
got to see a little bit of the city
got to try some amazing food!
and on the way back we had a tire blowout about half way back to missouri
a perfect way to end a good trip...

there were old man/women...even children running around (which i thought was a bad idea!)

it wasnt too X-rated. but it def is not a place for kids to be.

overall the drinks were amazing (and not too expensive)

you can walk on the street and drink your booze (we def had a 4-loco day...yea that was a bad idea...LoL)

but it was def fun and another good spring break trip for the scrap book

HAPPY MADRI GRAS!

...LiFe...

Saturday, February 26, 2011



well Life NEVER EVER works out how you planned

the thing that i do not like the most is getting your hopes up on one certain thing...

having all these positive thoughts...

positive ambitions...

and then when that dosnt happen it is both a good and bad thing?

granted so far 2011 has been full of so many lessons for me.

i have met alot of people

i have already done so many things...

i am just waiting for the things i want the most

and it seems those are the things i have to work the hardest for!

something you would think would be so simple...so easy..

end up being not so easy and not so simple at all

i will say that again i am learning what it means to be patient...

and i keep telling myself...good things come to those who wait

song of the week:

 You Got It  _ By J. Cole

Hey, one time

hey, one time

one time

throw your hands to the sky tonight

cause I think I see the baddest lil thing in the World right now

but I gotta make sure I’m right

and girl you damn right, if your head right

I’ll be there every night

I just might change your life

cause baby…



you got it (you got it)

you got it (you got it)

you got it (you got it)

you got it (you got it)



Hey Cole World, real cold World

I watch it hit the floor and watch it drop it real low girl

last time I seen ya, you was a lil old girl

I had a crush now we grown and we still so thorough

clap for her, work it till you exhausted

I swear nothing worse than a bad bitch that lost it

brains off the chain, smart mouth with a dumb ass

God damn your ex man is a dumb ass

when you was leaving, did he put up a fight?

was he stressin’ you, wasn’t f-cking you right

well one man’s trash is another man’s treasure

one man’s pain is another man’s pleasure

one damn thing you can’t change is the weather

but even if it rain, we get rained on together

it’s whatever, you shine, I shine,

I know you got a 9-5 I’ll be your 5-9!



http://www.hotnewsonglyrics.com/j-cole-you-got-it-lyrics.html



Yeah, go ahead and pop it like you do in the mirror

I’m picking through the cloud tryna see a little clearer

high heel wearer, hell of a body

first one to spot ya and I aint telling nobody

nope, I’m peaking at your ass, winking at your ass

if I dont beg I’ll be thinking bout your ass

for the whole week no time for cold feet

she too bad to pass, so fine I dont speak

I tell her my name Jermaine, I’m tryna be lowkey

she tell me I go tthat flame, your rhymes are so deep

man, girl thank you, shit you so bad know your daddy wish he could still spank you

hold up for these other n-ggas roll up and try and get ya

the ones that say they riders but never do ride with ya

I’m tryna vibe with ya so wont you throw me your phone number

and let them lames get ya old number



Roc Nation, Wale



look, Cole World, still a cold world

and a couple ya is cool but we a little more thorough

whole town, a little more girls

you know I spit that sick shit and there’s still no cure

hold up, low packs like I got cancer

choking on them white boys make a black panther

love my women with high heels and high standards

and only cheat on my broad if I run out of answers

I got that vicious flow, Moncler winter coat

I aint superstitious I make all these broads flip my pole

you dig it, this shit aint for beginners

I’m something like a fetus, im not quite kidd’n

and theres something you aint seeing like I block your vision

like my Remy with no juice, you a lot like Bishop

hundred k in 22 hours

see money talks, you muthaf-ckers is Boomhower

no check back, in debt yep

loud in my J, I smoking (?)

higher than I need to be

flyer cause I need to be

love our conversation but it’s late right now, I need a beat

one time for the Ville that Cole rep

another time for the city of slow death

I dont understand why these n-ggas so vexed

I dont need no chains with no cross to know that I’m blessed



 

...TiMeBoMb...

Sunday, February 13, 2011

one week until chicago...and the concert!!!

old 97's....TimeBomb....prob my fav song so far :)

I got a timebomb, in my mind Mom.

I hear it ticking but I don't know why.

I call the police, but they don't like me.

I hear 'em whispering when I walk by.

I got a landmine in my bloodline.

I'm not immune to getting blown apart.

She's like a claymore, that's what she's there for.

She's waiting 'round here to get blown apart.

Having her on my brain's like getting hit by a train,

She's gonna kill me. Oh Celeste, oh Celeste.

I got a timebomb, in my mind Mom,

It's gonna go off, but I don't know when.

I need a doctor to extract her.

I got a feeling she'd get right back in again

I got a timebomb, in my mind Mom,

I got it badly for a stick-legged girl

She's gonna kill me, and I don't mean softly.

I got it badly for a stick-legged girl

Having her on my brain's like getting hit by a train,

She's gonna kill me. Oh Celeste, oh Celeste, oh Celeste.

...NeW pHoNe...

Saturday, February 12, 2011

well i did it...i finally got an upgrade...form this...

to this...

so far i am really happy. it is a HUGE step up from what i am use to.

i have only had it a few days and i am still trying to figure everything out...LoL

but so far no neg. things about it...now im gonna go play with my new phone some more...LoL

...eMoTiOnAlLy DiVoRcEd FrOm EvErThInG...

Saturday, February 5, 2011

goodmorning!
heard this song this morning and it just catches how i feel...if you have never heard it listen to it!
def one of my fav songs



"Numb" by Linkin Park




I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Feeling so faithless lost under the surface

Don't know what you're expecting of me

Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)



[Chorus]

I've become so numb I can't feel you there

Become so tired so much more aware

I'm becoming this all I want to do

Is be more like me and be less like you



Can't you see that you're smothering me

Holding too tightly afraid to lose control

Cause everything that you thought I would be

Has fallen apart right in front of you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

And every second I waste is more than I can take



[Chorus]

I've become so numb I can't feel you there

Become so tired so much more aware

I'm becoming this all I want to do

Is be more like me and be less like you



And I know

I may end up failing too

But I know

You were just like me with someone disappointed in you



[Chorus]

I've become so numb I can't feel you there

Become so tired so much more aware

I'm becoming this all I want to do

Is be more like me and be less like you



[Chorus]

I've become so numb I can't feel you there

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

I've become so numb I can't feel you there

I'm tired of being what you want me to be



recently i have had a great mentality towards things...people...situations...that would once bother me...or make me upset...but for some reason ( and the help of a little prayer) i have learned to become emotionally divorced from EVERYTHING that is of little meaning to me...work...boys...life...i am trying to focus on the goal...the light at the end of the tunnel. i hope i can keep this attitude for a while b/c so far it def has helped me out the past week or so.

i found this pic...this pic is PERFECT to what has been goin on with my roomie this past week..and it just so happens that this is one of her fav quotes...LoL

...wEeK 5...NeW ReVoLuTiOn...

Sunday, January 30, 2011

...Let me introduce you to...

Grooveshark.com

well since i spend most of my days away in my own world i def need some tunes to keep me sane.

well in doing do i recently found out that Pandora has a time restriction on their accounts!!

i mean i do have more than one account but a friend recently told me about this...and i must say it is AWSOME

its like iTunes meets Pandora

you can choose a station that will randomly choose songs for you but you can delete the song from the que before it even play! no more "skip song" restrictions!!

you have TOTAL control over what you want to listen to, when and who! you can even move the songs around so you can hear it again!

here is what my grooveshark currently looks like...



you can type in a artist and all the songs they have on file for that artist you can que (at the bottom) and they will play. you can move the "songs" around to be played in a diff. order or to replay it later...or you can delete them...or add to it!

like i said you have TOTAL control over what, who , and when you listen to songs.
I must say this is what i have been praying for for quite some time now...
granted the radio stations are not as good as Pandora...but they def have more of a variety when it comes to the songs they choose to play on the stations. that is the big plus for me. they stick to the genre (not that Pandora didn't do that...but they did tend to wonder in a diff direction sometimes...)

so if you find yourself running out of Pandora minutes on your account you can always create another account (like i did...LoL) or switch b/w grooveshark and Pandora (like i currently do now!!)

...AuToCoRrEcT...

Thursday, January 27, 2011

ok so i found this AWSOME website...

seriously if you are ever having a bad day and need a good laugh i def would bookmark this site and go to it...i def cry laughing each time i visit the site (which is seriously almost everyday...LoL)

...Here are a few entries that i want to share with you for just a preview...

i must say...they are pretty funny!

Thank you

http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/

for making me laugh when i need it the most!

...WeEk 4...DiFfErEnT pEoPlE...

Sunday, January 23, 2011

well it is Sunday...
one more week down!

today's blog title is inspired by No Doubt's song "Different People"...
the perfect title to describe how i am feeling.

Well needless to day this past week was NOT as exciting as the week before.

didn't get to hang out with any guys, worked my butt off b/w my two jobs, research, and a anatomy class i decided to sign up for ....

well i did indeed go to see the "basketball coach"...his team had a home game so it was only a 45 min drive so i went. it was alot of fun...it was really hard to stop looking at him and to pay attention to the game! LoL
i am strongly attracted to him! i cant put my finger on it, but i am...and it drives me insane!

"med school" came over Thursday Friday night for a little bit. he has been busy studying for classes and test so communication has been very limited. it was a nice gesture for him to want to stop by.  not sure of the motive behind his visit but needless to say it was good to see him and joke around. i am strongly attracted to him as well.  i mean at first i wasn't! i had let all the bad things that ppl had said about him kind of taint my own preconceived thoughts about him ...but after hanging out he is pretty nice. i can tell that he has been through alot...but we haven't "gotten to know each other" yet....not sure when/if that will come,...but we shall see.
i think i am just attracted to well educated black men...LoL...it is clear that he is well educated (he is in med school!) but just our conversations and the way he talks....*sigh*....yea....ill stop now...LoL

"the rock man" i haven't gotten to see! he has been busy working 10 hour days, and weekends he is off limits due to the fact that he has a son and gets his son every weekend. not to mention the weather hasn't helped either. we did have a conversation. he said that he really enjoyed spending time with me and knew he had a crazy life and didn't want that to affect how i felt about him.  and i was sure to make it clear that it didn't as i too have a very busy life...so we shall see what this next week brings...

the other day i sat down and thought about ALL of the guys i have come across in my life...
some better than others...
some leaving more of a mark in my mind than others...
and lets just say i have kissed alot of toads....LoL

ok ladies i will share what i have learned so far about a guy...

• if he says "yea ill call ya later/tomorrow/sometime"....DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP!!! even if you like him alot...you can get excited if he actually calls you in a decent amount of time!
• there is a HUGE grey area when it comes to that weird stage of when you first met and you have been hanging out for a while...best way to clear it up is ask....some guys will be honest...and if a guy is seeing other ppl i have learned that alot of them will hide it b/c they know that girls like to be the one and only....you will get lucky and get the guy who will keep it 100% truthful and flat out tell you...
• take something from each relationship!! good or bad. i know that i try to take something from each guy that i have met. there is a lesson there...you just have to sit and think about it
• if a guy likes you (and even some of the really good players out there may do this as well) they will pull out all the tricks to impress you!
• some guys like to lie...the problem is trying to figure out when they are lying and how to handle it when you find out they lie...me i am not the type to just keep my mouth shut so i just ask or call them out on it. i have met MANY men who lie about alot of things (their job...money...things they have done...things they have done) not sure why...i guess to try to impress me...but lying about small stuff that doesn't matter is stetting you up to be disappointed when something major happens....
• i am naive...i don't know why...but i just am.  and i think some guys can pick up on that.  lucky for me i had men in my life who were players and played the game very well...so i was able to see/know the signs of what to look for when a guy isn't being quite truthful....you ask for a example? ok well this one guy one day says to me "hey I'm pulling up to my moms house i just wanted to call and say hello...she doesn't like when i come over and i am on my phone"...this covo would happen oh around 8 or 9 PM...and usually when he was in his car driving someone. after this the only time i would get a call was when he was at the grocery store...at work on his lunch break...or these small 5 min "check in" phone calls when he was "driving to his moms house"...very notable and possible he is telling the truth?...but weeks before that he would always talk to me when he was at his moms house...no matter what...weeks later...i found out he has gotten another women pregnant and they have been "staying with each other" for sometime...

i have many more examples of crappy things that have happened to me...i seriously could write a "how to avoid crappy guys" book...
now i am able to spot the bullshit (pardon my french)
at this point i am all about finding what i want. if you are here to waste my time then move on! i don't have time for the lies or games...and usually when/if i write them off and they done attempt to come back its a sign that i was right to do so.  b/c in that one instance if you write someone off and they really want me...they will keep working and trying to get my attention...

i mean these things i have observed and seen could be false and i could be totally wrong...but i have seen a pattern and have stuck with my instincts and it has proven me right every time.

so until i am done with this journey of finding "someone"....i guess i will have to keep trying...keep "playing the game"....and keep learning.

so if anyone has any advice...I'm all ears!!