....WoW...

Sunday, September 28, 2008

well this is the start of the 6th week of school...and itfeels like we have been in school for 12 weeks. my classes are ok...I AM READY FOR THE STEP SHOW TO BE OVER!!!! LoL...i am ready to have my life back...the step show is this weekend so i am ready for it to be done with. it takes up so much of my time, and the thanx that i get...NOTHING


i need a vacation...somewhere away from here. i was/am seriously thinking of moving far far away when i graduate. go somewhere new....fresh start...after these past few weeks i really want to. i have no reason to stay in the midwest. i def dont have somone to stay here for....so why not. a new adventure for my life after truman.


some days i just feel so alone. i mean yea i have my roomies and aubrie and my sorority sisters...but i just get tired of tellingthem things and i know that honestly they dont understand or cant relate...

latly for some strange reason ive been thinking about douglas alot. im not sure why. and it just sux...i dont like having him on my mind. i know that i am the last person that he is thinking about. ijust want to be appreciated and have someone i can come home to. someone who isnt after me just for certain things but who honestly cares and wants to know about me. maybe one day. i keep thinking that maybe i have a curse or something...but i know that i have a history of wanting things right when i want them...and God always makes me learn the meaning of patients over again. good things come to those who wait...right? i hope so! well gonna go eat and start some homework...

......................until next time...............

....nO mOrE cOmPlAiNinG....

Sunday, September 14, 2008

well i am back and in full affect

took my MCATS yesterday...this is how i feel about it..... :-/
LoL

well i had to drive to springfield,mo to take my test b/c i yet again was a procrastinator and i signed up too late to get a seat anywhere close to my area. so i had to drive 5 hours just to take the test, not to mention get a hotel room and buy gas...ooh but i did go shopping before i left and that made me feel so much better!

on my way bad, someone (who i said iw ould not say his name anymore nor talk about...but i feel i have to b/c it is the turning point)...was in columbia. well i had to drive thru columbia to get to kirksville. so i text and asked if i could meet him somewhere to say hi and just to show him my new car and so on and so forth...he says yes...well so i get 10 miles from columbia and call...straight to voicemail...so i first get mad...yes i was mad...so i decided i need to get gas i will call when i hit the city b4 i get gas so i can decided what to do next. so i get further into town, pull into the gas station, fill up...and call again. this time it rings a few times and then goes to voicemail (which means he pressed the ignore button...we have the same phone so yea...i know the deal)...so i send him a text...no reply, so i pull out of the gas station and just head back to kirksville. ok, now if you were going to be busy or just didnt want to see me fine TELL ME...dont play games. who knows what he was doing and to be honest i dont care. he has disappointed me for the last time. and i think it finally hit that why harbor feelings for someone when the feeling is not returned? why waste my time to show interest when it is just ignored? i fell that i am a good person, with a good head on my shoulders, ad a bright future, why should i even tolerate to be treated this way? so its official...i give up. im not going to try anymore. yes there were alot of reasons why i did like him but to be honest right now its not worth it anymore. im tired of getting my feelings hurt and not being appreciated for the things that i do try to do for him. to be honest i should be trying this hard to get any man...he should be the one chasing after me. oh well guess its back to square one...and im ok with that. i would rather be alone and looking than just sitting around and waiting for no good reason. "im too fly to be depressed"...LoL

but on a lighter note classes are ok...school is just school....im still tired of certain people...i guess i will never understand some people but i guess that is just the law of the land.

ooooh we HAD a mouse...toya saw it...i called the landlord and he brought over sticky paper...and within 30 min he was caught...i was in springfield when all this was going on, but im just glad its gone! i think i saw it once a long time ago, but just the idea of it being n the house....eeeew....the landlord said its possible b/c of all the rain. we dont leave food out and most of our fresh stuff in in the fridge...so i guess that would be a good reason.

i might get to see iowa next week...LoL yes i know...but its fun to see him

well thats all i got...
.......until next time......

....wEeK 2....

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

well this is the middle of week 2 for classes...and IT SUX! i have so much homework on top of working and all the meeting i have to go to with the different orginizations im in...its just crazy!!! so far i am doin pretty good..yesterday was a bad day :-/...but i got thru it...just had a freak out about the MCATS...in which i am takin sept 13th...my last time b4 i registar for med school...*sigh*...we will just have to see what happens....took a 5 min study break..gotta get back to studyin anatomy...i have a test friday!!!!


....until next time....

...30 hOuRz N a DaY rIgHt?...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

well it seems like there are not enough hours in a day to get everything done. I have been getting my homework done, and thanks to my job i get a little time to study my anatomy notes...its just the other things outside of work like meetings, step practice, going here, take me there, pay this, take that there....all the little extras that take time and that i have to squeeze in between classes or before work. but its ok...i try to convince myself that i am superwoman some days so i can get everything done...but like today it hit me and i just had to crash. put everything aside and i took a NAP! LoL yup right n the middle of the day and woke up, ate and came to work. I needed it! i have been staying up until almost midnight or later (b/c we have step practice) and then this week i have been coming to work at 6 am to help with morning draws then straight to class...and from then i am just running around. but i only have to do that this week, next week will be ALOT better. i changed my schedule and i even get to choose which day i get off....so im starting to get back in the groove of things which is nice and i so far so good...just gotta keep the studying up for my anatomy class :-/....but its ok, ill keep at it and hopefullyi can stay on top of everything....

well time to get ready to go home!!! but im gonna study and we have step practice so my day isnt close to being over yet....

.....until next time....

...FiRsT dAy Of ClAsSeZ...

Monday, August 25, 2008

Well i made it thru the first day of classes. And YES i already have a TON of homework. i miss the lower level classes when the teacher were not as mean and did not throw alot of work at you during the first week of class...but thats what i get for going to Truman i guess....

found a new thing that i can start to vent about. Im gonna call this person the "queen bee"...in which she thinks she is.

complaint #1:
for the step show. i came to the meeting prepaired. had a list of about 4 theme ideas. had ideas that i wanted to incorporate into each idea with outfits and other things we can do in the show that would be a "attention getter"...but nope. the mood was set on another theme...which is not a bad idead but its hard to come up with costumes and other aspects....so i was the "bigger man" so to speak and i let them have their theme...i did not argue

complaint #2:
we want to build a prop for the stage...but the "queen bee" wants togo all out and build damn near a fort thats going to be costly to build, impossible to travel with (yes she suggested we put it on top of my car and drive it to the step shows....uh HELL NAW!!! LoL)...and just hard to build and more complicated than it should be....we r still "discussing" the matter now...

complaint #3:
we are sending the alumni i postcard just giving them an update on this years events. "the queen bee" wants to take a pic in front of a fire place....but i dont. my reason...a fire place pic = happy holidays/merry xmas and a happy new year...its summer and its nice outside...why not take a nice shot outside? but she dosnt want too....b/c she just dosnt like it...

when it comes down to it she wants EVERYTHING her way. she has her ideas and thoughts and does not want to give consideration to what anyone else, or me, can come up with. and it dosnt help that artesha is her bestfriend and lauren is her ship so all 3 of them automatically side with eachother....its like me against them...neos vs prophyte....this sux! and i dont like it. i can comprimise but when this becomes a habit and there is an issue about everything and everything is your idea and your way i can only give in so much....im sure u will be hearing of more arguments that we have....

well gotta start the homework i have :(

.....until next time....

....iCe BoX...

Sunday, August 24, 2008

well this will be the LAST time i talk about this...personally i am just sick and tired of being sick and tired and when that happens all i want to do is talk about it. so here goes...


i sent ray a letter. i was just askinghim basicallt if he had lost interest and why he has failed to do some things or make more of an effort in general. his reply...he is busy. "he is working in 2 careers" with that being his real job and his music thing. he was hoping that things would have settled down by now so that he could pursue things further with me. i am not a bother to him, but at the same time i am not that important. so my worst fear did not come true. i figured that it was someone else or he just lost interest completly. but to some extent he has because if he was as interested as he use to be than he would make more of an effort when it comes to me and him. I do really like him, i really do...but i guess all i can do is wait for either him to come around of for someone else that will be put in my life. one of the things that i hate the most is the feeling that i am not wanted...me being alone. and that how i feel. i felt it growing up at home when all the things were going on with my parents and i moved on my own...and i feel it now. i mean yea i have been trying to talk to other people but i honeslty feel that it is to fill that empty void that i feel. when it comes to relationships i only get Hot or Cold....Hot means i meet a guy and he is just head over heels for me. and in this case i think i finally warm up to the idea of being with them and then it happens....so far everytime that has happened it hasnt ended very good....Cold means i meet a guy and i start to really like him. But i like him more than he likes me...so i am left feeling this way.

Aubrie said something to me the other night that made alot of sense...she said tru happiness comes from no man but from God. and i agree with that 100%. i guess that just means that i need to work on myself and my relationship with god before i can find that fulfilling relationship. I do want to be happy with someone, but i dont want to just settle to create that. so my instinct is telling me to just wait and see what happens. Good things come those who wait. good example...my car. i was so eager to get it when summer started and i wanted it right then...but i had to learn to be patient and now look. i have the car that i want and i am very happy with what i was blessed with. So i guess that is all i can do is wait & see what happens. whether i get that happiness with ray or with someone else, i just want it to be true and genuine. so instead of stupid boys i am going to turn all my attention, time, and energy on the things that are important and that need to get done now.

school starts tomorrow....not sure how i feel about it...LoL...we will see.

....until next time....

....ScHoOl TiMe AgAiN...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

well it is time for school again. It feels soooo real now that people are getting back to town and the town is coming more alive. after the ghost town that was here during the summer, its good to see ppl my age and not just the townies. im still having mixed feelings about school starting but im ready to do things with my sorority and have fun with basketball, but at the same time im not ready for the test and homework and all the other school stuff i have to deal with. oh well, gotta take the bad with the good right?

this friday is our first party...we are throwing it with the kappas, it should be pretty good since its on friday and most people will b back in town by then. THEN saturday we (me and my roomies) are havin a BBQ...we bought all the food and stuff today. we spend almost $200 bux so far, but hey its for a good cause. just the chance to get to know people and to just offer free food and a good time to anyone who wants to come. im excited about it b/c it will give me a chance to get to know some of the new people that are here and to just see a bunch of the "old" people that i am cool with.

well got the house clean, and my car clean. now i guess i can study for the MCATS...im gettin scared now b/c i did a practice test and could not answer alot of them...so i want to hit it hard now so i can be better prepaired for it....

.....until next time....

...bAcK 2 sQuArE 1...

Sunday, August 17, 2008

well im at work now...what a suprise. i did not work at all yesterday! which was sooo nice. im starting to cut back on my hours b/c school starts soon and i gotta focus on my studies.

well i did not sleep good at all last night. i took a nap late in the afternoon by accident yesterday so it was hard for me to sleep. than someone at work called me at 4am to "make sure i was comin into work at 6 am"...LoL yes im commin in, when have i not? so then i work up every few sec thinking i was going to oversleep...it was just a bad night. but hopefully 2nite will be alot better.

ive decided that i am going to write RVS a letter and send it to him along with the stuff i got him when i was in texas....and carlos is a prob no go...he asked me for $ again... :( im sorry that is just something i cant deal with. i would ask aubrie or call one of my sorority sisters or even call my family for $ b4 i asked the guy i was dating or talkin to... just one of those thngs...*sigh*...oh well....we will see. maybe the letter will encourage ray or he will just leave me be for good. guess alli can do is send it to him and pray for the best.

bought a grill yesterday! so we might have a BBQ sumthin this week and invite a whole bunch of ppl over...im excited about it. i think it will be alot of fun. erica and danielle r both back :) im happy b/c i dont have to be home alone anymore and it just makes it seem like school is about to start....so ill need help withthis semester b/c it will b BUSY! but hopefully ill b able to pull it together and get everything done...

.....until next time....

Cuando digo que te amo...yo te amo...

Friday, August 15, 2008

i found this and i just had to share it...

Cuando digo que te amo...

yo te amo...

te busco en la oscuridadpara

continuar amándote al amanecer

pues para nuestro amor

no hay tiempo ni limites que nos separen.

Si te busco,

voy a tientas

voy segura

y se que te encontraré

... siempre...

Cuando te amo,

mi amor se extiende mas que el amor

voy recorriendo caminos

invisibles,

transparentes,

esos que siempre han unido

nuestros cuerpos.

Por donde quiera que vaya

llevo tu sonrisa dibujada en mi sonrisa

te beso y nuestros labios

vibran de color y del sabor de la miel

vamos abriéndonos sin limites

a todo el amor que nos rodea...

Es así...

te amo aquí

hoy estoy aquí

hoy estas aquí....

*all of this was found on the page of :

http://porquesiemprehaytiempo.blogspot.com/

good job and wonderful work! :)

...StUnTin iZ a HaBiT sO gEt LiKe Me!....

so i decided today i will tell you about my new car :)

it is an NEW 2008 nissan altima...stick shift...had 16 miles on it when i drove it off the lot...it is "winter frost white"...with coal interior....it has 4 doors and yes it still has its used car smell :)

since i had to drive back to missouri from texas i alreay put 1000 miles on it...yea i know thats alot! but since the town i live in is so small i wont get too many mile on it. i think since i have been back on monday i have put 15 miles on it and that included going to work everyday and to the doctor i shadows office oh yea and my walmart run...LoL...but i LOVE it and i am both happy and blessed to have gotten to get the car that i wanted. hard work pays off as i had NO life this summer b/c all i did was work so that i could get it. but im happy with the outcome now i gotta get ready for school to start

soon to come...pix of yours truly in the new ride...a sexy car for a sexy driver! LoL

my roomey danielle comes back tomorrow! im super excited about that...ive been in the house alone for the past few nights b/c erica out other roomey is gone with the football team to football camp and toya my other roomey is in iowa doing research...so ive been alll alone in our big house but it has been nice to be alone and b able to blast my music and walk around with no clothes on...LoL dont act like u wont do it if you were home alone and had no one to look out for.

well since i have gotten the car i want...for now...LoL...i have been starting to think about the house i want to build next...yes i said build! im gettin there...give me a few more years to get out of med school and i will have it all! its never too early to start thinking about sumthin like this...i mean if i want something i work hard to get it. i can say that everything that i have (inculding my college education) i have worked hard and paid for on my own! even my new car! so i can say that i have alot of things to show for my hard work and hopefully it will pay off

what home dosnt need the huge stair case as you walk in the front door...it is a def must have! i dont like the design of the metal on the stair rails but i love the desin of the actual stari case

DETAIL! one of the most important things...i want lots of details in the ceiling, in the walls, everywhere,...you would be amazed at how much it can improve the look of a simple space

LOVE the tub and the see thru shower...i want one of those fancy showers that comes from all angles. i got to test one out in a hotel we stayed at recently and it was WONDERFUL...so that is a must have...love the his/hers sinks...

I really like the hidden refridge. i love the island in the middle of the kitchen, it adds space and a uniquness to the kitchen...i would probably choose a different color for this are but overall i like it

living area...one word...SPACE..i like the wide open space and all the sitting areas...its a great place to bring company and just chat...this is a def good idea.

well thats all i got for now...stay posted

.....until next time.....