...BrEaKeVeN...

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

ok so i heard this song on spring break and i am in love it....wanted to share it...

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in'

Cause I got time while she got freedom

'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven

Her best days will be some of my worst

She finally met a man that's gonna put her first

While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping

'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no

What am I suppose to do

When the best part of me was always you and

What am I suppose to sayWhen I'm all choked up and you're okay

I'm falling to pieces, yeah

I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason

But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving

And when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no

What am I gonna do

When the best part of me was always you

And what am I suppose to say

When I'm all choked up and you're okay

I'm falling to pieces, yeahI'm falling to pieces, yeah

I'm falling to pieces

(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)

I'm falling to pieces

('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain

You took your suitcase, I took the blame

Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh

'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in

'Cause I got time while she got freedom

'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break

No it don't break, no it don't breakeven, no

What am I gonna do

When the best part of me was always you

And what am I supposed to say

When I'm all choked up and you're okay

I'm falling to pieces, yeahI'm falling to pieces, yeahI'm falling to pieces

(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)

I'm falling to pieces

('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)

Oh, it don't breakeven, no

Oh, it don't breakeven, no

Oh, it don't breakeven, no

i realized that i think my heart is still broken. not just by one person in particular but just a chain of events and people that have just chewed me up and spit me out...i do not take well to rejection and i am starting to notice this. i am just ready. i am trying to be so patient but it is def getting harder and harder. when you meet certain people or certain things happen i just am so ready to move forwerd but i am stuck and cant change anything in my life. that is what is so frustrating. i know its a test and i know the wait will be well worth it, im just trying to keep it together and patient because i knw if i stick it out it will all work out. i have learned many times that good things come to those who wait...waiting is just the hardest part...

.................until next time...............

...SpRiNg BrEaK 2010....

Sunday, March 14, 2010

View from the condo...12th floor...center of the complex...can you say penthouse!! :-)

overall had a BLAST!!! def was a good trip and met alot of great ppl and we had a great time. sad to come back to the real world and have to get on with my life :-( but oh well...now i gotta figure something else out to look forwerd 2!!

....................................until next time.............................

...SiGh...

Friday, February 26, 2010

....THIS GAME SUCKS....

...GoOd MoRniNg...

Thursday, February 11, 2010

i have found that when i wake up...and pray..my day starts off so much better. i feel so much better throughout the day and just overall have an overall more enjoyable day. I am going to make it a habbit of it...i came up with this little saying when i was just praying...

First let us give glory to the lord father almighty. Father of heaven and earth, creator of all things. He hath made this soul and this body, and may his grace, wisdom, and patients be bestowed upon me. We ask that he bless all of his children, for he is worthy of praise.
Amen

i dunno it just popped in my head. so i wrote it down. i am prob gonna change it up a bit but i really like it. i guess its just something for me to say. :)

well about to go make rounds so i can finally get off of work!!!!

.................until next time...........

...NeWnEsS...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I hope this newness finally grows into something worth while...not another dead end or waiting list...something I an be proud of...b happy...and finally be on my way to the goals and things that I want/need n my life...until then I will continue to pray and be patient...and wait....

..............until next time..............

...FoRgOt....

Friday, February 5, 2010

well...i know i have the WORST PROBLEM at forgettig things...but i have been getting alot better. i dont know i just made more of an effort to rememebr things that i see, hear...or just things around me in general. im sure i could always pay more attention but there are things that everyone can work on.,

well this is my last Think Pink week as me being a member of the Mu Tau chapter. this year has been AMAZING!!! i love the current ACTIVE members and we are very efficent and get alot of things done that need to get done. I really will miss them. This remindes me of the chapter back when all of my ship was here! *tear*...LoL

but it really has been alot of fun to be with these ladies and endure this semester and all the other tasks we had. i really enjoyed growing with all of them and i am excited to see what they do with the chapter next year and what new members we get in the future. :)

well im at work...im about to get off to go to the lock in at the Rec. Tomorrow is the neophyte ceramony and then the "pretty nasty party" with the omegas from Mizzou and LU. so it should be a pretty fun weekend. the only downfall is that it is snowing :-( but that is what you get when you live in the midwest during the late winter months...i CANT WAIT FOR THE WARM TO GET HERE!!!!!

...............until next time..............

...ToDaY :-/...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

well today is Saturday 01.16.10

i am at home...i am tired but i cant sleep...i am restless but i cant seem to get settled or satisfied...its just one of those days...

trying to plan out my life...and having to deal with the ppl in my life...its a balance game...

i try to hide my feelings and how i truly feels, but at the end of the day i still feel the same deep down inside. i am just ready to see the path the lord open ups for me. i am patiently waiting for the many blessings that i dont have but i can suspect will come. the hard part is waiting. until then what do i do? i lack the motivation that i use to have and that is the big problem. i cant find the drive and motivation i use to have. i dont know where it went. i just want it back. i dont know if i need to pray more or what i need to do but i need to do something to get back into my routine. i am coming to this roads end and i need to be putting myself in 5th gear but it feels like im stuck in 4th gear about to shift down to 3rd gear. i dont know what to do. im not depressed or anything i just dont want to. i just need to have a "AH HA" moment and just kick start everything. maybe it will come tomorrow...or maybe there is still a chance with today.

*sigh*....what i want is not exactly what i need and what i need isnt exactly what i want....LoL...its a tough concept but that i how i feel. but oh well. i will keep truckin...

...................until next time...............

...5 YeAr PlAn...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

well now instead of short term goals....im gonna focus on the long term things....

so with that being said here is my 5 year plan:

1. be in medical school
2. while in medical school have saved up some $ and hav invested it and is making some kind of profit while going broke at the same time (off of those school lons :-/ )
3. be in a serious relationship (yes i said it...time to settle down and get serious with someone who appreciates me, who wont cheat on me, and someone that i can love again...but until then please belive i am gonna have fun!!!! LoL )
4. have some kind of stock or equity....i need to start to build my empire right now!!!!
5. become even closer with my family,....we are working on communications but we can always improve!
6. become closer to God...i know anyone can always do a better job at their spiritual growth.
7. have a new car or have my current car paid off!!
8. be in minimal credit card debt (i have already paid off one and im about to pay off another!! things are already lookin good!)

this is just a start. it is easier to look at and abide by when it is in writing. so now that it is said...it shall be done...and im sure i will find more and more things that i can/will add to this list.

....................until next time....................

...NeW yEaR...

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

it is a new year

cant wait to see what it brings

i have already done more than i prob should have...but its def a new and diff start to the new year


guess i will have to wait and see what 2010 brings...

..............until next time..........

...ExTrA eXtRa...

Friday, December 4, 2009

well this week has been one heck of a week in the news!!

1) our fair Tiger woods was put in shame in the news...started with the car crash...led to mistresses....and women who wishe they could be....LMAO...all these stories of girls who also "had things going on" with the golf star. i swear, it never ends. But you have to just think who are the men out there doing this and not getting caught? its crazy...

2) my friend was put in the news...yes it was public record but what was the purpose of it? he has some legal issues going on and i feel that the school should not have relesed an article until after his court trials and more information was released about the case. all i have to say is the reported that wrtoe the story better watch out...there are alof of angry minorty students on campus who are looking to meet her...LoL

other than that...just living each day....trying to figure out the next...

...........until next time...........