...UnExPeCtEd...

Saturday, December 11, 2010

well this week has def been full of unexoected events...

saw a fight in the administration building at school....

The small claims court case we won against our landlord she is appelling it...

Have alot more paperwork and other stuff to do with the full time job i may have in jan....

My sister's ride from the airport overslept/had her phone off so i had to scramble to find her a ride...

boys are dumb...LoL...that is all i will say about that....

just an interesting week all around...

all i can say is....

TOMORROW IS MY.... BIRTHDAY!! :)
the one day a year the world DOES revolv around me...LoL.
even though i am getting old, i LOVE my day and try to enjoy every sec. of the day :)
and this year for the first time in FOREVER my little sister is here to celebrate with me :)

...OoOoOoOcH...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

so this is my finger (notice the blood blister on my ring fingernail)

well i was at work (at the bar) and trying to be an efficinet bar tender i was moving too fast and managed to slam my hand on the ice bin...causing this lovely boo-boo on my finger...

it was throbbing and hurt alot the remainder of the shift (i complained that i was gonna die...LoL..but clearly we can see that i am fine...) but after that it has been fine.  the only time i am reminded of it is when i manage to squish my finger on/aganst something else or hit the same spot...then here comes the same throbbing pain :(

now i have looked at several ways to try to fix this (other than cover it with finget nail polish...b/c I HATE wearing finger nail polish...it dosnt last long then starts to chip...then it just looks awful......)

this is what i found....





and i also found....





and i found this.....




needless to say...i will just walk around with an ugly fingernail...and try not to continue to hit it until it grows out and heals it self...LoL

...StRiKe ThReE...

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

well today was strike three for me
was suppose to hang out with someone last week....it didnt happen...
was suppose to have a lunch date yesterday....it didint happen
and lastly today i was suppose to have lunch/dinner with someone....it didnt happen

i dont know but i give up...
i just try to hard...or i try not enough...and no matter what i still get my feelings hurts
i dont know what else to do...
i know that it is not me...but then what is it...
i just want one...decent person...to do the simple things that i ask....
the SIMPLE THINGS....
like if you say you are going to do something...DO IT
if you say you are gonna call or text...DO IT
and if you are going to say that you are gonna come see me or make a date with me...DO IT
i am just tired of getting my feelings hurt...or getting discouraged.
that is my BIGGEST pet peeve...someone whom i like or hold to high regards dissapoint me
i grew up my WHOLE life being disappointed by the people that "love and care for me"
well this is where i draw the line...i refuse to just let someone decide to do it to me out of habbit or just b/c that is how they are

on a lighter note...it snowed today! the first snow of the winter. yes i hate snow and the cold...but it is a sign that m bday is close and that xmas is even closer. i am so excited to go home and i cant wait. i am even more excited about our new years plans!!! we will all be together and we are all gonna have a good time!!!

well gotta go make dinner...prob turn my phone off for the rest of the night...i have called 4 diff people and 3 ppl didint answer and one person ignored my call :-/...yea def donst make me feel better esp after having yet another date called off today....oh well i will pray about it...take a nice hot shower...cook an amazing dinner...drink some hot coco and go to bed early....tomorrow will be a new...better...warmer day :)

..............until next time...........

...SuPeRwOmAn...

Friday, November 26, 2010



 So let me give you a rundown of how this week has been....

this week i will have worked almost 50 hours at the hospital....and 20 hours at the bar...not to mention the AMAZING thanksgiving feast i managed to cook for turkey day...and work out...and plan a new years/spring break trip for me and my friends....yes...go ahead...you can just call me SUPERWOMAN!! LoL :)


yea i know you are prob asking me right now..."stephanie...why are you killing yourself this week"...well the answer to that amazing ? is b/c i get paid extra for working the holiday ANNNND i will be going home soon (plus my bday and the new years VIP celebration) so the extra money will def. get put to good use...

i was chatting with a friend while i was at work and they told me that working like this...little sleep...no free time...i am just getting ready for life in med school....LoL...if that is the case than i am ready!!!
one more step...one more hurdle and i am in! and to be honest i cant wait!!


but until then...i will keep studying for the MCAT (which i havnt done at all b/c i have been so tired...but i WILL DO IT TOMMORROW!!) and i will keep working hard to take care of the things that need to be taken care of...and i will just wait patiently....

the lord is def teaching me how to be patient...

yea i can say that i feel like these two kids right now....i dont drink coffee so i am going off of pure luck right now..LoL

well gotta wrap things up at the hospital...go home....shower and eat some turkey day leftovers....quick cat nap...then i close at the bar....oh did i mention i have to be up at the hospital again tomorrow at 5am!?!? ahhhh yea...it is gonna be a looooong weekend...

...MeEeEeE...

Saturday, November 20, 2010

*stands up*

hello, my name is Stephanie....*hi Stephanie*

and i am an addict...

i am an addict of music

i am an addict to working out/eating right
i am addicted to food...
i am addicted to my friends...

i am addicted to those crappy wedding shows on TLC

if i had someone to love i would be addicted to that too

i am addicted to looking forward to each day

i am simply just addicted to life

you see i am just an average girl

trying to make my way in this world

each day hands you a new problem to fix

and even though my goals have not been met yet...

give me a few years and ALL OF THEM will be reached

i may be a little demanding
and yes i am quite stubborn
but the guy that has my heart...all he has to do is smile and i promise he will get his way...sometimes

you see i am not high maintenanced

and it doesn't take alot to make me happy

i am a simple girl who loves the simple things in life..

and did i mention i LOVE surprises?

but i also love to smile and laugh at a good joke

i am addicted to Gatorade and green tea

and i have not touched fast food or french fries in over year

and i work hard to look good and most importantly feel good about ME

so i would like to say this again...

hello...my name is Stephanie...

and i am addicted to life

...DoNt DrInK aNd DrIvE...

...fAiLuRe?...

Sunday, November 14, 2010

as i take a look at the people that are in my life and the people that i have known...and currently know i like to just evaluate their influence on my life in general. it is clear that the people that are here now are the most important. and i am thankful that i have been able to keep in touch with the select people from back home. it is always nice to go home and have some people to hang out with and just go out with.

when you think back to the times when you were in high school and each person had "dreams" of things they wanted to do. it is clear today that most people that i know from home are NOT doing anything that they wanted to do. i am really curious as to why alot of people changed their career paths. i know alot of people that i know who wanted to be doctors are now nurses or work lower on the food chain in health care.

i am so determined to become a doctor. i have serously evaluated my life and tried to consider possible doing something else with my life...but i realize there is absolutly nothing more i want to do in this world than to be a doctor and change peoples lives in a way that most people cant. i just think i was meant to do that. i mean with all of the oppertunities that i have been given and the influences i have had from the medical doctors i have met i just cant help but want to try harder and harder to obtain that goal. i have time i just have to do it!

but it is sad to look at the people that once had so many goals and see them settle. i mean i am sure they are not just settling to settle. they are doing it for thier family...to create a life for their kids/husbamd. yea another crazy not...taking not of all the people that are marrried/have kids/or about to get married. i have one friend that is divorced...LoL so i guess its not too bad to just know one person that it did not work out for. but still...it is just crazy to see how over the past 7 years how drastically peoples lives have molded and changed. i look forwerd to the next 7 and cant wait to see where i am 7 years from now :) hopefully i will be almost done with medical school...LoL

...LuV tHaT pInK aNd GrEeN...

Sunday, November 7, 2010

well the AKA play boy pageant was last night

it was AMAZAING

this year we only had 3 boys (compaired to last year when we had 8!!)

but it was nice to only have a few boys to keep up with.

i have to admit...this years tribute was THE BEST we have evern had..

not to mention the gift i got are prob the best as well...LoL

well i take that back. i have gotten some really good gifts so i cant say my gift was the best but the tribute def was the best

the boys made a song/music video called "luv that pink and green"

it was pretty much about us, our chapter, and AKA's

it was sooooo cute!

it seriously brought tears to my eyes

every girl deep down insides wishes a guy would write a song about her

well even tho it was not just for me, but the fact that it was for me and my sisters just made me so happy!
and it is actually a REALLY good song and the cutest video.

i will try to figure out how to upload it online i will def put it on the page to share with the world :)

research is good

evan is good....still on the fence about it...
hmmm jennifer will be here in a month!
and i get to go home in 40 days!! (yes i started a countdown!! LoL)

kirksville is not very exciting...i am def waiting for the day that i move away from this place!!

well...im in a PINK and GREEN mood after last night :) LoL...so i found some great things that are pink and green!! :)



http://weddingrumors.com/blog/2009/pink-green-inspiration-board/

http://notableinspiration.blogspot.com/2010/04/etsy-wedding-green-glass-pale-pink.html

http://www.charlottegeary.com/weddingideas/ideas-for-wedding-stationery.html


sorry about the last few...i guess alot of the pink and green stuff have to do with weddings...but they are sooo pretty!! LoL...yea i am not where close or even want to look at wedding stuff...that wont be happening for a loooooooong time...

....hmmmm...

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

…Humility with dignity….humbleness with pride…

...hOmEcOmInG...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

this weekend is homecoming...

can you say CHAOS!!! LoL

i have saturday night off....and i get to come into work late on sunday...

evan will be here....kelsey just told me last night that she will be here!!! and my sorority sisters will be here!!!
can you say ...O....O...O...O....O...O...O...O..O...O...O...O...O...O...O...OooooMG! LoL

...sTiLl TiPpIn...

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

still tippin (is one of my fav. songs)
and when i hear it, it makes me think of the perfect summer day at home
the sun is out
few clouds in the sky
not too hot
your with your friends
the day is just perfect...

with me saying that i am homesick
it has been 10 months since i have been home.
and i am feeling it right now
i just miss being "at home"
the feeling of being somewhere familiar
the feeling of being around your family
the feeling of being around the things that will always comfort you (like the best food spots!! LoL)

i prob wont go home until xmas :-/
but it is ok
i will just know to make the best out of the time that i am at home.

i am NOT excited about the 12 hour drive...LoL
but i am excited to go home and see my family and friends
its amazing the friends from home that i have kept in touch with
and how fun it is to go home and see them for the time that i can

but then it is always nice to come back to my life in missouri
i wonder all the time if i will ever end up back at home and i have no clue
only the lord knows...

i think eventually i may end up back at home but i dont know
i guess it is one of those things that i will have to wait and see what happens

but regardless i am super home sick
and i cant wait to hop in my car and hit the road!
the sec. i hit loop 289/i-27 i will get a smile and a rush of emotions usually takes over me.

i miss home...
10 months is def way to long to be away from home...

...HoPeLeSs...Or HoPeFuLl...

Saturday, October 2, 2010

hopeful...
or hopeless...


to be expecting the good...
or the bad....



it is hard to look for the good in some situations when you are use to just seeing or focusing on the bad
and that can hurt or ruin the "hopeful" things


i would like to say that i am an optimistic so i try to see the best in all situations and i try to see the best in all people that i meet and come across. sometimes that comes back to bit me because i try to focus on the good that the bad just slips up on me and overwhelms me and takes over. instead of noticing the bad and allowing myself to not be naive to the bad that is there. i still try to focus on the good but in the end it still haunts me and in the end i am the person that suffers...

i guess sometimes its a lose lose situation...but oh well
you live and you learn.

until then i will try to remain hopeful...
and patient...
as i always try to be...




this song came on Pandora as i was writing this post...and this song is perfect for today's topic :)


dRiVe - by InCuBus



Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear


And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear

Take the wheel and steer

It's driven me before

And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal

But lately I'm beginning to find that I

Should be the one behind the wheel



Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there

With open arms and open eyes yeah



Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there

I'll be there



So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive

Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?

It's driven me before

And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around

But lately I'm beginning to find that

When I drive myself my light is found



Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there

With open arms and open eyes yeah



Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there

I'll be there



Would you choose water over wine

Hold the wheel and drive



Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there

With open arms and open eyes yeah



Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there

I'll be there

...HmMmMmMmMm...

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

well...
not much to say really...
realized i havnt blogged in a while...
just been working on the stepshow with the girls...
been working...
maybe play bball...

hmmm...thats it...LoL

...tOp ArTiSt...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

well lately i have been listening to ALOT of music....old and new
the first thing i have to say is THANK GOD the whole
soulja boy and "lets make a song with a dance" craze is over
i think it was killing the music and killing just pushing music in the wrong direction
but i am happy that artist have realized it and stepped up and came out with alot of good music

now i want to list some hiphop artist that are my personal fav. and i inspire you to listen to a few of their songs...
if not all of them... LoL

in no particular order....

Erykah Badu....
she is an amazing artist.
no i do not like all of her songs but she has come out with some amazing songs
making some incredible statements
and is a def force when looking at hip hop

Musiq soulchild....
being one of nine children, and a high school drop out,
he got his luck break and boy i am glad he did
awjuslisten is one of my fav albums.
his last album was not as good as i only found a few songs on it that i truly enjoyed
but overall as an artist his voice is amazing and he has done some great work over the years

Maxwell...
his last album...was a hit with me...
i can listen to it from start to finish and then start it over again
his voice, his flow...everything about that album just was perfect
yes there were only 9 songs on the album but it was still amazing
and not to mention his past work...
he is just an amazing artist and he will always be on rotation in my ipod

aaliyah...
although she is gone her last album was def my favorite.
alot of her old songs were good...not all of them...but her last album i loved and enjoyed all of her songs
i feel that if she was still here people live ciara and keri hilson would have a run for their money
another food for thought...if she was still here would beyonce be as big as she is?...hmmmmm
something to really think about...

chris brown....
ok despite his own personal problems he has an amazing voice!
i am such a chris brown advocate right now b/c he just made a mix cd with tyga (one of my fav rappers)
i have not found one song they have done together that i do not like
he sings and does a little rapping on the songs. it is a perfect mix/flow to throw with someone like tyga

boys II men....
ok an oldie but a goodie
these guys paved the way for boy bands
and created good music
all of the different voice just worked very well with each other
yes a "young" person like myself has grown up listening to these guys and they are def a fav.

common...
"i met this girl when i was 10 years old..."...the best common song...
he has been in the game a LOOOOOONG time
he has created so many great albums.
as an artist i think he is def. under rated. he does not get the respect and attention that he should
i love almost all of his songs. i have all of his albums
i love his voice and his flow...
no one can touch common and def. is a pioneer of hiphop

Ne-Yo...
his last album was def really good.
i am super excited to see what he comes out with next!
he has an amazing voice and it is easy to "groove" to alot of his songs
overall he is the whole package. he can dance, sing, and act. well acting...not sure how good that is...LoL

floetry...
poems literally put to a beat.
their music is inspirational
they are def a different type of group and are in a league of their own

foreign exchange....
i discoverd this group through a friend and i will be forever greatful
this group is just amazing
i can listen to their CD over and over again.
it has a jazz feel but has amazing vocals and lyrics that go with it.

now i know there are alot more hip hop/R&B artist/groups out there....
these are just a few i wanted to touch on...i hope this inspired you to at least listen to a few songs if you have never heard of any songs from one of these artist.

...StAnDiNg StIlL...

Thursday, September 16, 2010

do you ever feel like the your friends...
people you know...
the whole world...
is just moving past you so fast and you are just standing there...
standing still in time...
not moving forwerd or backwerds...
just stuck...

well i have been feeling that way latly.
just not really knowing what direction to move in
i try to make options for myself...
but they just dont work out the way i plan them

i want things so bad to go right with my life
we all create this idea/plan that we want to follow
and the second those plans/ideas are messed up
sometimes it takes the wind out of you...

well i am here
right now
to take a step forwerd in time
i am
making a change
i am
going to defeat the odds
i am
going to make it
i am
going to take the grace of god and the blessings of my loved ones and move on
move on the life i planned out and will one day have

yes it will be later than i thought
but that will not stop me
....wait and see.....

...CoNfiDeNcE...

Saturday, September 11, 2010

it is amazing some of the thoughts that i have...
for me to be so confident...
it is clear that there are still many things that are in absence
of my life
you see, i lay awake each night wondering...
pondering...
hoping...
that the next day, and day after that
will be filled with things that i am lacking and asking
for in my life...
simple things....the simple kind of life...
that is all my soul needs to keep the bad thoughts at bay at night...
but it...i...me...myself...and i... am in a constant fight...
for what it is that i want...it is truly right...
for me...
or is god telling me...is he showing me...
to wait...
to frustrate me...
to keep me irate...
so i can narrate my feelings yet again
on how hip hop...rock and roll...or even neo soul has betrayed me...
keeping me afraid...
as i keep getting misplayed...
as i began to feel low-grade...
until my heart and mind finally get ok'd...
to love...
again....

confidence?
i was born a dunce...

to this game called love...

i wrote this poem and finally decided to share it. :)

...sMiLe...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

well after my last post...
i have to write this one to make a correction...
he DID come to see me :)
saturday....wait sunday afternoon i suggested that he come to see me
that i would cook dinner for him
and then he could go back home to be with his family..
well 2 my suprise he said he would just come and hang out and then head home on monday!
you have NO idea how excited i was.

well i got off of work. i cooked salmon pin wheels, potatoes, wild rice, and stir fried asaragus with cresent rolls
it was soooo good! and he loved it! LoL (of course he did...i can cook!!)

it was alot of fun to just see him and hang out and talk.
it def made me happy and made my week :)
i was sad to see him leave on monday afternoon.
i def look forwerd to being able to go and see him again sometime soon i hope!
i am so greatful that he is so understanding about me and my life and my decisions
most guys are not...and that is the crappy thing. but to find someone who truly understands
and truly respects me is a true blessing.

but that just means there is hope after all.
at first i was sad...but things turned around after all. and i am so happy that they did

granted erica was a little short and mean with him...but i know why she does it
i just have had a handful of crappy guys the past few months...years...LoL
she is just looking out for me. i am glad someone is!! :)

well just had to write a post as an update....

...SiMpLe...

Sunday, September 5, 2010

i am a simple girl...
looking for the simple things in life to make me happy...
the simple things in life to live for...
just a simple kinda life...

i realize how simple my life is.
i do not have much depth to my life right now at all
and i cut out all of the complicated people and things that were in my life to some extent...

today did not start off well at all.
i get to work...at 5:30 am..yea i know im still not awake yet...
the person that was suppose to come in and help didnt show up...
wouldnt answer their phone when we called...
and what is going to happen to this person...
ABSOLUTLY NOTHING
our boss is really big on doing nothing at all when people screw up around here.
but lucky for me i am surrounded by alot of other people who are going to make the day go alot better
and working with the patients def puts a smile on my face.
so i guess all in all the day is slowly starting to turn around.

yesterday was ok...
evan had suggested that he come to visit me this weekend
weeellll
his parents got in a huge fight and he felt that he needed to stay home to be with his family
i mean that is amazing that he wanted to do that
but at the same time, im not gonna lie, i was super sad that i wasnt going to get to see him or spend time with him
i was really lookin forwerd to seeing him and actually getting to be with him
i had all kinds of things planned. it just knocked the wind from under me when i found out he wasnt coming
but it is ok
i mean it was honestly so hard for me to try to see how he felt.
i grew up with my parents and family always fighting
i grew up with a torn family
so in a way i am just immune to it i guess.
but i tried to see it from his view.
if you are a close family...hardley any problems ever...and then all of a sudden there is a problem
i guess that would be a big deal.
but yea like i said im glad he was able to be there for his family
i was just trying not to be selfish in wanting him to leave them and to come and see me
but hopefully we can plan a time (SOON) that we can hang out and see eachother

this is the crappy thing about distance
i mean altho it honeslty is prob the shortest distance out of any of my long distance relationships
i forget how hard it is to plan and try to make time for eachother
esp. when you have two ppl on two completly different schedules.
but if the people envolved want it bad enough they will make it work
so we will have to see..
until then i will remain hopeful....and pray for his family....and pray for mine...LoL
and pray that this day will go alot better than it has already started

like i said...im a simple girl....looking for a simple life....*sigh*..yea that prob will never happen...LoL