...The anecdote of my life...: ...ReTuRn Of ThE Ex...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

It is that time of the year (and i would have to say that his happens to me several times a year)
I don't know if the moons all align in a perfect pattern...
If the moon is full and the tide rises and it stirs up every one's most inner crazy person...
Or if my pheromone some how got caught in a strong wind current and managed to drift several 100 miles away...

This special occasion i am talking about...
is the return of the ex!

It is that one moment when you get a text message (and if your lucky a phone call) form a guy that you use to date (or "talk" to).
For whatever reason you two split ways...some on good terms and others on bad terms...but for whatever reason you went on separate paths and have not talked to each other.
For me...when one Ex contacts me...it never fails that one or two more will magically contact me as well within the next few days. I am not sure why...but like i said some cosmic universal force beams my face or my name into the minds of these guys and they feel the need to "check on me".

Now no it is not a bad thing (in most cases)...but it can be annoying.
I always take pride in checking up on my friends and trying to have good communication. I will admit there are a few of my ex's that i am good friends with. We were friends before we dated...broke up...and still continue to be friends to this day.
Then there are the guys who did not make the best decisions which led to the break up in the first place.

I would not have such a bad problem with communicating with my ex's if they would not have ended things so badly. I am all about being 100% up front and putting things on the table. But for some reason i NEVER got that in return (i did with a few guys but only after i had to pry it out of them!)

OK this is where i will be a little conceited but...most of the guys left me for uglier...heavier...less put together (as in my drive for my education and no kids and no baggage) woman than me! Yes i KNOW I'm a great catch and it insults me when i see them with someone who is no competition AT ALL. I would seriously give them props if i saw the girl they were with and did not cringe...but that has yet to happen. I guess some guys cant handle the upgrade (Me)...so they gotta settle for something a little less....

I guess they do it to have some piece of mind about what happened between us...or to just see if i was going to try to get back with them...im not sure at all of their intentions...but i will say sometimes it is good to just know that they are doing alright. I guess i will be flattered that they think of me and want to re-connect even if it is through a small text message convo. But to each is own...and i wish the best for all of them!

For those of you who do not know my story let me give you a break down...

i have been in one serious relationship that lasted 3 years. This relationship ended about 4 years ago. It ended due to trust issues...distance...and infidelity.

Before that relationship i had dated 2 other guys...one guy broke up with me because i was moving from Texas to Missouri (a great thing to do! i was sad then but i realize now that it was the best thing he could have done. we are still good friends to this day) and the boyfriend after that cheated on me (and of course lied about it :-/ )

After the long serious relationships i have bounced from guy to guy trying to find someone to call my own. I kept getting caught in the "i don't want commitment" game...or the "I'm lying because i want to have my cake and eat it too" game...I even had one guy get another girl pregnant while we were "dating"...um yea.

So the moral of my love life is that there has not been one. I have had one love...and have been searching for another since then. All the guys since him have cheated on me and treated me less than what i should have been treated (not during the whole relationship...but towards the end when things started to go bad).

Realizing my current situation (me living in a town with a population less that 15K ppl and a very small black population) i joined online dating (but i recently suspended my account).

So all in all my "Love Journey" has been a roller coaster ride. And i know that it will always be that way. I am learning that that fairy tale picture you have painted of guys does not exist (and if that guy does exist he is already taken). I am having to learn to try to be with a guy for the right reasons...and not just to settle to have someone to cuddle with. During this journey i have learned a lot about myself and what to try to expect from guys.