Thursday, August 4, 2011
Welcome to this Chapter of...
This chapter i would like to ask men a question...
So lets say you have been "talking" to a girl for several months.
When is it OK to have "the talk"...the talk about what is the reason for this "friendship"?
To be quite honest i don't meet guys...try to make out with them...try to get to know them...just to have another guy friend that i can turn to. I have PLENTY of close guys friends...and if i gain another one it will be because it just happens that way. I wont grow a crush on him...and he wont grow a crush on me. We will have a brother/sister kind of relationship and that will be clear from the start.
But why is it that guys get so squeamish and distant when the lady finally asks...what are we doing?
Do you just want the booty or are you truly looking for a lady?
I feel that sometimes guys get so comfortable being in that weird limbo stage. No real commitments...no real anything. Just the pure pleasure of having a girl there at your disposal (and im not saying that only men are this way...i have gal friends that are the same way!)
If it is a "friends with privileges" type of situation...then those rules should have been set at the beginning and restated throughout the whole "relationship". If one person catches feelings than that is a whole different story. But if you meet a boy...exchange numbers...get to know them and go on dates then when is it OK to finally ask? Or is the girl suppose to wait on the guy to ask?
Dating is like a chess game. You are always trying read and analyze your opponent (in this case the guy you are after). Always trying to think and analyze the current moves and the next possible moves. And if you make the wrong move...check mate....your done. Sometimes this game can go on for a few weeks...a few months...or however long until someone finally make the wrong or right move. To be honest i hate playing this game.
I have learned that even though i brag about being different and not like most women...that i actually am in some ways. I am a worry wort...i worry about EVERYTHING especially when it comes to guys. I guess it is just because its my nature or possibly because i have had so much bad luck when it comes to men (or i have just been unlucky to meet all the wrong guys). I am horrible at reading people and what they are wanting/feeling. And i defiantly over analyze most situations....especially when it comes to guys. Like i said i guess its comes from countless dead end relationships with guys. Ending each of them with no closure...leaving me to ponder and worry over what really went wrong with each of those situations.
So...the million dollar question...when do you ask for the monogamy? When do you suggest the commitment of just one guy taking away their freedom to have more than just you? Or do you just let the chips fall into place...or let the relationship dissolve? So many questions...never the right answer...