...PhRiDaY...

Friday, April 29, 2011

well...here in a nut shell is this past week (more so the past few days...)

This whole week has been alot about self reflection...and trying to motivate myself for things that i feel i need/want in my life. i would like to say that i am usually a pretty happy and care free person. this week has been kind of hard because i felt like i was in a rut.  i am still stuck in this small town...somedays i hate my job and some days i love it (this has been the week that i hate it...both of my jobs...LoL) i miss the heck out of my close friends that have moved away from me...and i am just needing something exciting to look forward to. something exciting to do! MORE OR LESS...SOMEONE TO MAKE ME EXCITED...

i mean yes i have a prospect but...still i am wanting a little more. hanging out once every 2 - 3 weeks is not cutting it for me...LoL
my roomie has a new lady friend which is taking up her time...all of my other friends have their significant others they get to take time to go see...and me...all i do is wake up...go to work...go to research....go home...nap...and spend the rest of the day trying to fill it with something meaningful other than flipping through HBO or the other movie channels we have.

i need something more fun....i need something more exciting....
the old Stephanie in times like these would reach out to old "flings" (so to speak and to be honest i haven't had sexual relations with all of them!) to see if there was a possible way to make some kind of meeting. but i am so done and over that. i just want one person...and although the few guys that i could make these arrangements with would guarantee an awesome time...i still just don't want to result to going back to that habit.  like the quote in the picture...i am finding ways to strengthen myself...and not looking for it in others.
although i do call my dad sometimes for that strength. i think he enjoys knowing that i sometimes need him for emotional support.  but other than that....he is the only one. i find that i pray alot in times like these...for

Strength...patients....and guidance.

so i decided to make a list of things that make ME happy...

...having my ipod on shuffle and it play awesome songs in a row...
...walking to/from work on an amazing day...
...waking up to no alarm & well rested & before 9AM (i know im old! LoL)...
...finding inspiring quotes/poem/blog post/picture...
...playing golf...
...painting...
...having a good inspiring workout...
...taking my baby (as in my car) out for a joy ride...
...planning trips home...
...talking to old friends...
...getting my paycheck and realizing i worked more than i thought...
...random yet fulfilling conversations with my dad...
...random yet hilarious text conversations with my girls...
...getting a pedicure...
...doing yoga...
...cooking...
...pigging out! (ill be honest i eat pretty healthy all the time...some days i slip up! LoL)...

and to be honest the list can go on and on...these are just things that  came off the top of my head.
but i will try to occupy my time more so doing these things...instead of giving myself the chance to get caught up in the fact that i am not doing 100% what i would like to be doing right now...but i do need to put in some work to get there. also i haven't worked out in almost 2 weeks and i am starting to notice when i do that i get tense and a little batty...so yea def gonna work that into my daily schedule as well.

today is Friday and i am feeling great...like my old self...and i love it. def have alot of planning to do so i can find ways to keep buys (other than working). A doctor said he notices that i am in the hospital more than he is...LoL...guess i am paying my dues before i make it to the Dr. McGrew Status... :-)