...SaTuRdAy...

Saturday, April 23, 2011

well i have decided (yet again) to do a little spring cleaning.
bought some totes and boxes and other containers from wally world to get more organized (not that I'm not already pretty nice and neat). i just accumulated a box of "stuff" that i decided to go through today while i was working (yes i thought i would kill two birds with one stone! why not get paid to get my life in order! that's called multi tasking! LoL)

well item number one that i found...the ONLY baby picture of myself that i have:

i used this picture with my high school graduation stuff. and to this day it is the ONLY baby picture of myself that i currently have. during the selling of my moms house and the packing/storing of all of the things that were in the house, the box of children's stuff that was mine (i was in Missouri and had no way to get to Texas to get it  :-/ ) was stashed in someones garage or storage place. since that time i have been home 4 times...each time i have made a HUGE effort to try and get those items...and as you can tell i have been unsuccessful at it so far. a relative has it (a relative that i do not think too highly of...) and after begging and pleading i still have not gotten it. so i am unsure of what to do next...other than bust down the door myself and take back what is mine...

also in this box i found these...

these are old letters from past "loves"...boyfriends...or what ever else you would like to call them.

in this pile of over 50 articles of paper, letters, cards, flower cards, post cards, etc...there are years of memories. i could not help but get caught up in the moment while rummaging through these.

the ex-love of my life...the "official Ex" (we will call him Mr. Puerto Rico because he was puerto rican...and very caliente!!! LoL) there was a good number of letters, cards, and flower cards from him. he was in boot camp at one point so i got a letter like clock work almost everyday. he to this day is the only guy that has really gotten me flowers...and yes i still had all the notes he sent with the flowers he would send me. *sigh* oh to be in love...maybe it will happen again someday.

Mr. San Antonio (major guy #2 in my life...but never wanted the commitment...)
is the winner with about 3/5ths of the letters in my hand. he would send me letters from when he was bored at work...when he was bored at home...he would send me letters ALL THE TIME. i mean yes it was nice to get the surprise letters in the mail and yes we did talk everyday. ok ok i am guilty i did start to look through some of these and it started to make me angry about him all over again. then i took a second...took a breath and realized once again why i had to cut him off. he was filling me full of false hopes. he was one of those guys that was a "stunter" always had the best things or tried to appear that he did...and would always say "if you ever need anything i am here"....but the ONE time i actually swallowed my pride and asked i got a list full of excuses...not to mention i found out he was dating someone else during our "courtship"...oh did i mention to this day he still texts me (usually drunk) saying how he misses me and still loves me...and i always reply "oh really...how would your girlfriend (that he currently lives with) feel about what is being said in this conversation...and that is usually the end of the conversation...

and last but not least Mr. BFF (i met this guy when i graduated from High school right before i moved to Missouri right after breaking up with my first boyfriend ever and right before dating Mr. Puerto Rico) we are what i could say BFF's...LoL. we are ALWAYS asking each other for advice...from family...work,...school...even relationships. He cheated on me...it was messy...but all in all we realized that we made awesome friends. so needless to say we still keep in touch today and i like having that neutral person in life that i know i don't have to expect ANYTHING from. well the letters i got from him were from when he had to go to jail for sometime. to this day i still haven't gotten the full story as to why he was in jail...but i was a friend and was there before, during, and after.

now i do have random letters/cards from other guys that i had met during times such as my bday, holidays, or other random holidays. but none as significant as things sent by the 3 guys i just talked about. Now that i have gone through the box and know what i have do i keep them or get rid of them? i mean looking at them makes me sick right now but at the same time it is hard to let go of them because of the memories that have been put into them. i am thinking one a girls night out we may burn them...or i may keep them until my Mr. Big sweeps me up and we start making memories of our own to put in this box....

looking through this back and back on my memories and thoughts of these guys...yes it made me sad for just one moment...but it also made me glad. if i had not met these guys and go through what i did i would not be the person i am today. and i LOVE the person i am today and LOVE where i am in life. so even though i had to go trough the bad some good did come of it.

i also found the last bday card my mom got me...that one hit me like a ton of bricks...got a little teary eyed...but then i couldn't help but smile...i am blessed....i am truly blessed...my Mr. Big is out there...just waiting on him to take me off the market :-)