...ThE qUeStIoN...

Thursday, April 14, 2011

black and white....ebony and ivory....do they really actually go together?

well over the past few weeks i have gotten into many different discussions with friends about relationships...and what people are/are not attracted to....

i have a friend who currently keeps dating black guys. as a white female her family is "OK" with the idea but want her to "try to find" someone of her race...

and then there is me...my first serious relationship was with someone who was puerto rican...my very first boyfriend was a white country boy...and since then i have been single and have managed to date black and white guys from different sides of the spectrum...

but, as it may seem...sometimes i feel as if i will end up with someone not in my race...

there is nothing at all wrong with that. all of my married brothers are married to women not in their race. my family brought me up teaching me to look at the person for who they are...not what color of skin they have.  and i have even had several conversations with my father about "the guys i date".  he doesn't have a problem with their skin...only with how they treat me (which is a great thing to say dad :-) )

i don't attribute these feeling because i "want a white guy over a black guy" i attribute it to the people that are put into my life...and lets be honest...i currently live in rural Missouri and there are not too many black guys to choose from...and believe me the ones that i have met are more worried about the booty than the commitment (hence why i am still single...LoL)...

i know that recently i have been dating alot of white guys. now im not saying that it is a preference...it just happens to be the type of people that hit on me and take me on dates.  i am very open to hanging out with any guy who has the balls to ask me for my number (and i actually give them my real number...yes i do give out a fake when the time calls for it).  But i know i have been made fun of by my peers for the "type of guys" (meaning white guys) that i have been "dating". 

i have no problem at all enjoying the idea of getting involved and serious with someone of a different race. the problem is are they able to handle it? will their families be ok with it? i know that there was one guy who's mom was NOT HAPPY about him "getting involved with my kind"...but what is my kind? i mean i know i don't look nor do i act like the stereotype of the "ghetto black girl"...i don't have weave, and i talk loud and rude...i am educated...speak proper (yes another thing i was made fun of as i grew up) and i am very cultured.  I thought dating was hard enough but throw in this kind of situation and no wonder i feel like i just want to give up all together. 

i know that some of my friends chose "Love" over their "Life" and "career"...well i def. chose my career and i don't regret it at all. i guess i am just waiting to be taken off of the market finally...and by any one of any race.

with talking with my friends about this racial dating barrier...i had made a comment that i got alot of mixed feelings about. in MY dating experience the past few years...I have had the most trouble and most awful experiences with black guys when it came to relationships...and the white guys were not as troublesome but were easy "situations" to deal with.  my friend made a good point and said that i cant blame that on the color of their skin...i am blaming it on the fact that they are guys and guys just do stupid things...LoL...i couldn't agree with her more.

so no matter the race, ethnic origin, religion (well that does play a role in who i want to date), or color of their skin...don't just choose one. because if you do...you may be choosing to miss out on someone great.

....until next time....