...tHe QuEsTiOn...

Friday, September 30, 2011

forever is a long time....
especially when you are thinking in terms of spending the rest of your life with someone.

over the past few weeks i have talked with several friends who got married pretty early.  Most of these couples were what i like to call the "Unicorn couples"...you know..the kind of couples you only see in movies.  When you see them walk by you can just see the love they have for each other beaming from their souls.  This couple compliments each other very well...and every gal who is having trouble keeping a man always thinks "i hope i have a relationship like that someday" every time you see this couple.  Well i guess everything that glitters is not gold...because those relationships i use to envy have now fallen apart.  They have either filed or just settled for a divorce.  Luckily none but one had any children (which could be a reason why they split) but from what i can gather the divorce was pretty peaceful and fairly quick.

When i sit and think about these kind of things that happen it scares the tar out of me!
Here i am, searching to find one guy to have to call mine, and people who i thought had solid relationships are breaking up around me.

Coming from a family full of divorces, the word forever to me is somewhat tainted.  Yes, one day i do hope to get married, have the white picket fence with the dog (still not sure about the 2.5 children part yet)...but along with that dream comes indefinite love and understanding.  When i finally say "I do" i will also say "I don't" to divorce.  I want to find a man that i can be comfortable and happy with.  I want to find someone who does not mind the word "forever" as long as i am involved in that picture.  But today is that easier said than done?

Now i am not completely hopeless when it comes to me finding Mr. Right ( and just Mr. Right now....b/c sadly i have had many different Mr. Right Now's) i guess i will just be very picky and very cautious when it comes to thinking in terms of forever.  Don't get me wrong...Mr. Adventure is still in the picture.  We are still learning about each other and still having fun.  But it is def too early to consider "forever" with him.

 With men i have always been on the fence and i have always had this huge wall up.  The men in my life that have been the closest to me have not always been there for me.  The word "I love you" was tainted with actions that did not show love...and those actions included lying, cheating, stealing, and anything else that you can think of that would make you want to push men away forever.  So i guess my biggest obstacle is actually trying to find what i feel is true love.  because right now...i feel like it does not exist.

forever is a long time...and at least i love myself enough right now to be happy with the idea of spending forever with just me (but i will be honest and say that i hope  i don't have too!! LoL)

p.s. dont forget to check out my new site infinitelifefitness.com!!! :-) 

http://www.onlinelawresources.com/san-diego-number-one-divorce-settlement-law-firm/

...NeW pRoJeCt...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Hey guys!
Well i have been super busy the past few weeks with life and a new project i have been working on.  And i wanted to make sure things were going smooth before i introduced this new project to my personal blogging friends!

The project is a new blog!
But it is not just any ordinary blog...it is a health and fitness blog.
Since i am somewhat of a health professional now, i wanted to use my degree for something while i am in this weird limbo stage in my life. 
I have had so many people ask me health/fitness questions so i decided to make a blog.  I can answer all those questions PLUS add other things that may be helpful.

So please check it out and let me know what you think.
I have been working really hard on it and health/fitness is one of my life passions.
If I can inspire and help one person reach their health and fitness goals then all the hard work that i put into this new project will def be worth it!

Introducing...
Infinite Life Fitness

Click on the link and it will take you to the home page.  Feel free to comment or suggest things that you would like to see posted in the future. 

...LoL sUnDaYs...

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Happy Sunday everyone!
Hope last week a productive week for everyone!
Just made it back from the camping trip! (will post pictures soon)

Here is your LOL moments for this week :-)
ENJOY!!

....*sMiLe*...

Friday, September 23, 2011

well i had another photo shoot on Wednesday...and i will say that it was a lot of fun! i cant wait to shoot again...
the photographer yet again raved about my flawless skin.  He loves shooting me so much because out of all his clients it does not take much time to edit my pictures (some pictures he did not have to edit at all!) it is amazing to see what these editing programs can do!!! so here is the most recent pic...and i will have to say that I'm LOVING it! :-)

off to the woods (me and the gals are going camping this weekend) a full weekend of no tv, no computer, no cell phone service....i will have to admit...im pretty excited about it!

...tHe HuMp DaY bLuEs...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

well it is only 10:30 AM on this clear sky, slightly chilly Wednesday morning.
And already so much has already happened today. 

This morning...i woke up...not wanting to get out of bed.
I stayed up way past my bedtime working on two different projects (i am starting a new fitness blog!! stay tuned for more details....and i am trying to help plan out/learn things to help my sorority sister with the upcoming homecoming step show...always a stressful time of year when you have to deal with the step show)

So as i am getting into my car, i drive out of the garage and notice a big box sitting on the front porch (yes it is awesome that we get our mail so early in the morning.  I left my house at 9:00 am so it is usually waiting on me when i am getting ready to head to work)
It was the hair weave that i had a friend send for me!!

OK let me go into details about this hair weave situation...

you guys saw a few pictures from a photo shoot i had a few weeks ago.
well, me being natural it was kinda a hard task to get my hair to do what i wanted it to do.
I was constantly trying to fluff it...or tame it down...because in some shots it had a mind of its own and it was just making me look crazy at times.  Well i got asked to do a fashion show and i also got asked to do a pretty awesome editorial shoot (all coming up next weekend)! Well my first concern was my hair.  I could wear it in one of my natural curly styles...but i wanted to go for a little more glamour and a little more edge...so a gal of mine suggested that i get a sew in.  Well this was a great idea...except for the fact that i have NEVER in my life had one.  I don't know anything when it comes to weaves...so this will def be a learning experience.  I am also getting it (the main reason) because i was told that they wanted several different hair style for the fashion show...and i did not want to get heat damage on my now healthy curls (that took me almost a year to get).  So this was in a way the only option i had...other than a wig...and i don't think I'm ready for that either....

But yes my friend sent me the right kind of hair and on Tuesday or Wednesday of next week i will have it put it....so yes...stay tuned for those pictures.

Adventure #2 for this morning...i was accused of stealing!!!

Most mornings when i am running late i will just get to work and grab breakfast at work while i am trying to get some things done.  Well this morning was one of those mornings.  I got to work...parked in my parking spot (for the 1st time this week someone else finally was not parking in my spot!)...grabbed my bags and computer...got to my office and got settled in.  After that i ran over to the cafeteria at the hospital to grab some food...
Well i got my usually...a piece of toast....string cheese....hot water (to make tea) and a glass of regular cold water ( to sip on during the day).  Well i pay for the cheese and bread and head over to the Laboratory (my other job) to say hello to the ladies i work with (this is a regular routine for me).  Upon leaving the lab (which is right across the hall way from the cafeteria) i decided this morning i wanted to get some yogurt.  So i go back in the cafeteria (with the previous items i had purchased still in my hands un eaten...un touched since i had just bought them) and got some yogurt.  As i was paying out that lady at the register said (and i quote) "if your going to pay for this yogurt...you might as well pay for that extra piece of cheese you just stole! *big eye roll*"....i gasp and say "EXCUSE ME!?" i then open my container that i still had in my hand and showed her that i still had all the items i purchase 5 min ago! she then said "Hmmmm...you probably ate it already"....i was LIVID!

I went back to the lab and talked to the ladies that were there. They validated my story that i came straight over and i did not eat anything while i was there.  So i decided to call over and talk to a manager. (which was not there at the moment but I WILL GO FIND THEM LATER TO TALK ABOUT IT!)

OK c'mon old lady...why the hell would i want to steal a extra $.30 piece of cheese.  Seriously...with my new job i can buy all the damn cheese in the place if i wanted too.  and 2nd...this is the same lady that i see EATING off of the buffet line every morning when i come in to get my toast and water.  Yes she grabs some bacon...eggs...or ham...and shoves it in her mouth...while she is waiting to serve a customer. Talk about gross...and um is that not stealing? And on the weekends (when their boss is not there) they def eat like kings and queens because i see their plates piled high with all the food that they had cooked for the day.  I'm pretty sure they did not pay for those triple serving sizes they were scarfing down. Now i hope this lady does not lose her job because believe me i am about to raise hell in that cafeteria.  And if she thought i stole an extra piece of cheese should she not stopped me before i left the cafeteria the first time and asked to look inside my container? Oh did i mention she made the rude comment (and eye roll) in front of 5 other people (that i knew) so not only did she embarrass me...she insulted me as well!

OK...OK...I'm going to stop talking about it...it is making me mad all over again...
So happy Wednesday everyone....hope your hump day is going a lot better than mine so far!
(well its not totally ruined...i have a photo shoot tonight plus i have to finish packing for this weekends camping trip....its hard for someone to ruin my day. So I'm going to keep smiling and enjoying all of my blessings :-)  )

...LoL sUnDaYs...

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Happy Sunday everyone
Here is your weekly Grin
Hope you guys had a good week...and i hope this upcoming week goes just as well!


This is just too cute!....

yea this is just not right...LoL... 

seriously...i might have to get one of these signs made..LoL...

and even though Mr. Adventure is getting me acclimated to the woods...i PROMISE you will not see a picture of me like this...LoL

...gOaLs...

Saturday, September 17, 2011

as i was thinking of all the things that i need to do the next few weeks
(and the things that i would like to do...)
I decided that i would like to try to write one blog post a day...for a month.
I wanted to try a month just to see how well i could do that.
I get my new computer next week so having a computer at home that i can actually use, i feel that it will be a lot better and easier to do this task...
So here is my pledge...
Starting October 1, 2011...i Stephanie will try to write one blog post a day...
We will see what happens...LoL

...tHe FiGhT...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

well...i feel a little sad that my dad and i got into a bit of a disagreement the other day...
I am a BIG daddy's girl...and when i was growing up this was a good thing until he go re-married to the wicked witch of the south (my EVIL stepmother)

She is a very evil, vindictive, rude, selfish, unpleasant person to be around.
I usually do not say much to anything about her (on my blog or in real life) because i don't even like to entertain the thought of her. 
When her and my father got married when i was in high school, that is when our family really started to tear apart.  Instead of embracing all of my fathers kids, it was like she was trying to find a way to run us away from them.  My grandmother did not even attend their wedding! I did not understand then, but i understand why she did that now!

There was a small point in time where i went to live with my dad when i was in High school (and i moved out on my own shortly after living with them because of the way she treated me and my dad did NOTHING about it...i guess to keep the peace with her.  and i my personality was a lot more quiet and conservative back then than i am now!) During this time she made my life hell! She tried to give me a ridiculous curfew (like 7 or 8pm! I'm a teenager!!) She would make me buy my own food to eat ( i could not eat any of the food she would buy at the store and that was in the house).  And when she got the chance she would say or whisper mean things under her breath when she would see me at home. These things are just the few things this evil lady did...i could go on for days! But back to the story about my dad...

My dad would make me go to her church....now that is not a problem but her church...was not the type of church i would want to go to.  You know how some ppl are super religious but turn around and do some of the most evil and worst things...yes...this was not only my step mom but 1/2 of the congregation at this church.
I was born and raised in the church.  I was baptized at a Methodist church that my mom went to (and i still go there when i go home. i LOVE that church and it will forever be my church home).  For 5 years i went to a privet christian high school...so the Lord was apart of my everyday routine.

Well when i was on the phone with my father on Sunday i was asking him about his day and if he had to go to church.  he said he went as usual and i replied "hmmm i don't see how you can do it....i did not like going to that church...actually i hated it!"...he then quickly asks me why....
I told him that the people in the church treated me so fake.  They would talk about me and my moms side of the family right in front of me! It was like my step mom had told them all to gang up on me and treat me badly. 

My dad then said "well they were telling me that you were always skipping school and work to run around with them boys"...i gasped....and i yelled 'what boys!?"
During the time i lived with my dad was when i had my first boyfriend! my dad met him and knew him.  We both worked at the same place so we would usually work together and he would give me a ride home.  Sometimes he would take me to a movie or we would go play pool...but other than that what BOY(S) was i running around with? I had a 3.75 GPA (out of a 4.0), i was student body president, on all varsity sports teams, and i held a part time job (working full time hours some weeks)...when did i have time to run around with boys!? To be honest me and this guy broke up because i would not fool around with him (my limits were kissing and holding hands...i didn't want anything else.  i wanted to focus on school and making a better life for me and i knew that sex complicated things not to mention my family is very fertile and i was not trying to have kids anytime soon!) not to mention i did not lose my virginity until i was 20-something years old (yea i wanted to wait for all the right reasons and I'm glad i did!)

Naturally when i start firing off questions with my dad he shuts down...so when i got upset that's exactly what i did...who said this...why....what made them say this...why would i even have to lie about that with him when i had a curfew and i was doing so good in school...etc...etc....so like he does he said "leave it alone Stephanie....ill talk to you later." and we hung up.

I was annoyed and upset....why had my dad let these people talk bad about me? and in front of him? and why did he not stand up for me? why did he not say something? why did he not ask me about it if he was so quick to believe them? I know it happened so long ago...but still...my dad never stood up for me when it came to do with anything dealing with my step mom...and that ruined our relationship for the longest time. That is the main reason i did not hesitate to move 1000 miles away to start a new life when i graduated from high school.  Maybe i still have not let go of all that build up hostility and anger from when i was treated so badly and he just stood by and did not do anything about it....

I love my dad.  and i know he loves me.  and i will always be there for him.  But i know that Mrs. Phillips (my "adoptive mom" ill have to talk about soon) would NEVER let anything like that go on. 

*sigh*

i was hoping he would have called me by now...but he is just as stubborn and prideful as i am...so i guess ill have to make the first move since i am the one who got mad.

But a word of advice for anyone who tries to go after a man with children....
please please please treat the kids just as you would treat your man.  I remember a lot of his old girlfriends and how they would treat me very well.  I'm not going to lie some tried to buy me off with candy, toys, and new clothes...but they still tried to make me happy just as they would try to make my dad happy...but no one made me cry more when i was growing up than the lady who would try to tear me down and spit on me when all i wanted...all i needed...was some love, attention, and support from my "family".  I am so grateful for my friends from home because they were my support (and so was their families) and Mrs. Phillips and her family are like my family. She did not know me at all and took me under her wings and loved me like i was her own.  And for that i would forever be grateful because she helped encourage me with my life choices and helped me become the woman i am now. 
So the moral to this story....everybody love everybody (yes i stole that line from the movie Semi-Pro with Will Ferrel...LoL) I know some days i would just cry(not in front of her..i was very good at not letting her know that she got to me) because all i wanted was to be wanted....and to be loved.

...PiCtUrEs...

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

well guys...
the wait is over!
Here are some finished prints from 2 of the photo shoots i was in a few weeks ago.
We took almost 1000 Pix in one shoot! and there were a lot of good pictures to choose from
I have another shoot planned for tomorrow and another at the end of the month...and another set for novermber.
So as i get the pictures i will be sure to share them to get you guys opinions!
Hope you enjoy! Stay posted for more pictures to come soon!

...LoL SuNdAyS...

Sunday, September 11, 2011

i know i missed last week... SORRY!
i honestly just forgot...but anywho...here is this weeks LOL moment(s)
Hope it brings some type of smile to your face :-)

sorry here comes the adult humor...it was just too funny...i could not leave it out!!



...tHe CuRsE...

Saturday, September 10, 2011

i have had this curse (well i believe it to be a curse...and i could also call it bad luck...)
And i noticed that i have this problem since i was in high school and i had the first guy who "liked" me and wanted to date me (yes i was a late bloomer...didn't have my first real boyfriend until Jr year of high school)

The curse...
When i find ONE guy that i truly like...and that i am happy with...several other guys at that exact moment try to distract me from that guy by showing interest in me as well...
This causes a problem because then my thoughts...emotions...and feelings for the original guy are misguided and distracted by the other guys trying to get my attention...

Here is my latest example...
you guys know about Mr. Adventure...
Before i met him...i was on a drought. I was not meeting any guys...i was wallowing in my loneliness and yearning the compassion and attention of a male counterpart...
Then i meet Mr. Adventure...and since July we have been spending a lot of time with each other
i am getting to know the person he is and i start thinking...trying to see if he is someone i would like to grow more into a "relationship" with.  I mean i would say we are "dating" right now...but we have not had "the talk" and nothing is official (you guys know its not official until its facebook official...LoL)

Well over the past WEEK...
i had THREE....not 1, not 2, but THREE past guys i have met on the dating site call me...
and not a "hi I'm checking up on you call"...but a "hey things didn't work out with the other girls i dumped you for...so we should start talking again" kinda phone call...

My one and only friends with benefits (yes i had one...it was right after i broke up with my first serious boyfriend...i had a friend who fit the part...and it worked out.  We have no romantic feelings for each other at all...but we still remain very good friends...problem is he has moved over 1000 miles away so naturally things kinda ended...) but this week he texted/called me again...not over our usual friend convos...but pushing towards the "in horny and lonely" conversation (which i quickly change the subject b/c he has a lot going on in his life and does not need to be worrying about trying to meet up with me right now)

And lastly....as of last night....Mr Rodeo Cowboy now wants to be back in the picture....
he and i started "hanging out" back at the start of this year...in June things started to turn sour...
He was playing the usual guy games when it comes to girls wanting more than the fun weekend times...so i just had to stop communication all together.  It was what i needed to get over him (well...try to get over him) and to move on to find someone more worth my time. 

Over the past week he started texting me...we have not talked since June, so it was nice to just catch up and conversate.  Well last night i went out with my gals and of course i saw him out...and instantly...the attraction...the connection...the chemistry was still there.  Of course he talks with me and trying to entice me with his smile...his humorous ways...and buying us drinks...and of course...like a sucker i slowly started getting sucked back in.

....after the Mr. Rodeo Cowboy situation I'm not gonna go into detail about some other random guy who has an eye for me.  I mean we truly are friends...and i know he wants something more...but he is def stuck in the friend zone with me. Besides he works at a local restaurant...and i don't want to mess up my connection for cheap drinks and free dinners...LoL

All in all...last night when i was hanging out with Mr. Rodeo cowboy...i could not help but start to miss my Mr. Adventure.  This is the first weekend in the past 6 weeks we have not been spending time together (because he had family stuff to do this weekend) and while Mr. Rodeo Cowboy is trying to butter me up with conversation in the back of my mind...i could not help but to think of Mr. Adventure.

When i woke up this morning reflecting on the events of this week...for the first time since i started seeing Mr. Adventure I questioned if he was right for me...but then i also thought about all those "its a beautiful life" moments i have had over the past few months and he has been apart of all of them.

Mr. Adventure may be a little rough around the edges...and he is a true outdoors man...but he has an amazing heart.  He is always thinking of others before himself.  He spoils me (by cooking for me...that's all i need! LoL) and he treats me so well.  Minus the little problem on the float trip everything seems to be fine between us and i find myself counting down the time until i get to see him again...

With Mr. Rodeo Cowboy...there is an instant connection between us.  And it has been there since the second we met.  He is super tall...not very athletic...he can dress his ass off (he has more clothes and shoes than i do!) but he has an amazing humor and personality.  He is very financially stable...and is one hell of a kisser...the kind of kisser that literally makes the wold spin around you and brings out that passion that is deep down inside of you. Now that may just be lust...but...it sure as hell is an amazing feeling.

The old Internet boys...all were disregarded for a reason.  They all were full of false promises and lies...and not worth my time.  They may fancy the idea of having another chance with me...but i have not entertained that thought at all with any of them....oh and did i mention my ex boyfriend also texted me this week....LoL...yea its been one hell of a communication week for me!

Despite all the random and unwanted attention i am getting from so many directions right now....it is a huge distraction! And like i said a curse.  I don't want to make the wrong decision...it seems like with my life and career i am good at making the right moves and right choices to get me where i want to be.  But when it comes to relationship....i have no clue as to what to do when a road block is thrown in front of me...

*sigh*...i cant wait to see Mr. Adventure again...
And talking with my gals they said i don't have to really tell him about whats been going on this week....
i do and don't feel comfortable with that. I am a very honest and upfront person...but at the same time i don't want him to think that he cant trust me...and i don't want to worry him with the fact that randomly all these guys who do not matter are trying to chase me.  To be honest  i don't know what to think or say about Mr. Rodeo Cowboy...it is clear that things went bad for a reason and that i found Mr. Adventure. I honestly do not want to entertain the idea of being with anyone else...esp these past guys who i stopped talking to for a pretty good reason. I just hope for the best with Mr. Adventure and will wait to see what unfolds for "us".

...ThE wEeKeNd...

Monday, September 5, 2011

over the past few months, i have gotten the chance to spend most of my weekends in the woods...
and when i say in the woods i mean
complete darkness...
no sounds except for the noises of animals and bugs...
a blanket of stars that cover you when there is a clear sky...
the moon as your flashlight when you need to see where you are going...
Bambi...thumper...and all the other rodents not seen in the Disney movie running around you...
and most importantly....Mr. Adventure :-)

picture of the pond on the property

Usually, he will come down to the cabin on Friday night...and spend the whole weekend out there
well i work Saturday and Sundays from about 2pm - 10 pm so i will get off of work and make the 20-something mile commute out to the cabin so i can spend some time with him on the weekends.

This past weekend was not like the others...
He has some friends come up from STL to help out with some of the things around the land
And it was cold!
I have been lucky to have nice warm weekends at the cabin...but it is clear that winter is on its way and i personally do not like it!

On Saturday night, i got out to the cabin to find him waiting for me inside.
He greeted me with his usual antics (making fun of me...his way of flirting) but also pouring me a glass of wine and inviting me to eat some of the food he recently cooked.

I guess during the day he had make a new trail on the new property that was about half a mile down the road so we rushed me to finish eating and hop on the 4-wheeler with him so he can show me.

As we are speeding down the gravel road he decides to turn the lights off! now granted i was freaked out at first...but the moon was so bright that it literally lit the white gravel so that you could see it. 

Now initially anytime i adventure out into the woods i get scared.  yes i trust Mr. Adventure...but i guess my mind is warped from all the horror films and stories i have been told over the years.  i am always expecting some man eating deer to jump out and attack me...or i am always looking over my should to see big foot standing there waiting to grab me.  But once Mr. Adventure assured me there was nothing to be afraid of (yet again...because he has to do this pretty often) that is when something inside of me clicked...

I stopped worry about all the bad and wrong things that could go on and i focused on the good things that were going on that moment.  I was on a gravel road...on a clear beautiful night...the moon served as my flashlight....and the stars were bright and shining.  Mr. Adventure was letting me hold onto him tight...and he was showing me the pure beauty of the outdoors...the beauty of the silence and the quiet...the beauty of the animals that you could hear singing in the distance...and the beauty of that landscape that he was conquering.

Like with most things that go on in my life i worry...i am scared and i over think things...
To me my life could be crazy and hectic until i have that one moment of clarity.
Until i realize how bright and beautiful the moon is...and then i realize how many stars there truly are in the sky. It is moments like these that i thank God for the life he has given me and the path that he has put me on.

Spending moments like these with Mr. Adventure makes me realize just how much i have missed out on. realizing that there is a whole world that i did not know existed...and its literally in my back yard!
He has also made me realize what i have been missing in a partner.  He treats me in a way that no other guy i have been with have (especially over the past few years).  I would have to say that i feel lucky when he does things for me...but my heart just melts when i see his smile :-)

All in all...it was another great...adventurous weekend in the woods.
I drove a 4-wheeler for the first time...
i also wore camo for the first time (yes...i will admit...i looked pretty darn good in it too! LoL oh did i mention Mr. Adventure bought the camo gear for me to wear :-)  )
Another good weekend to put in the books...soon hunting season will start and the fun in the woods will die down...but i hope it picks back up when it starts to get warm again.

Me riding the 4-wheeler while Mr. Adventure flattens out the gravel drive way...he is such a stud muffin! LoL :-P

...ThE gReAt HaIr JoUrNeY...

Thursday, September 1, 2011

one of my most fondest childhood memories...
climbing into my moms lap so she could wash..dry...and press my hair (with a old school hot comb...you know...the one you heat up on the stove!)

Since i was a little girl, that was the bi-weekly routine.
Usually happening on a Saturday morning after the trip to the grocery store...and sometimes before bedtime...so my curls would be crisp for church the next morning.
I would get my hair done by mom mother until i reached junior high...then i was big enough to go to the beauty shop (and obviously too big to climb into her lap and get it done by her...and because my hair was so thick and long it took a lot time to do my hair at this point).
I would sit for HOURS in the beauty shop...trying to block out the ritual gossip about Ms. Jenkins and what her son T-Ray did this week...
I would Sit in the the beauty shop chair only to get a wash...dry...and press (and if i was lucky some nice curls)

Growing up, my mom said that we did not need a perm.
She would state...if we wanted a perm we would be able to get one when we are old enough to afford it and to get one regularly to make sure our hair looked right.
And i will say...am i soooo glad that she did that!

I moved to college....and with me came a plug in hot come, and a nice hair dryer.
Well it was only until my sophomore year that i discovered the flat iron...which was a faster hair straightening routine...and gave me a better result to the shiny straight hair that i was trying to achieve.

It was last summer. I started a pretty intense workout routine (i officially started the "G.R.G.T" (get it right, get it tight...yes like the David banner song...LoL) boot camp.
Well with me working out 5 days a week...this made me have to apply heat to my hair twice as much to get rid of the naps that my sweat had produced.

Towards the middle of the summer i noticed that the increase in the use of my flat iron resulted in my bra strap length hair to start to break, get weaken, and shorter...and not be as nice as it was. So i knew i had to do something to change.

So that is when i resulted to you tube and "natural" hair blogs.
And i am so glad that i did!!
I learned the proper way to wash...dry...and style my hair (in protective styles which my hair is in 90% of the time) and also do cute/unique styles for special occasion (which i am still learning how to do!) I also learned proper maintenance routines and good things to use on my hair daily (which was not in my previous hair care routine.) This opened my eyes to all the wrong things that i was doing hence why my hair quickly went down hill!

me getting ready to cut my hair in march for the first time...lots of split ends and damaged ends :-(  (i cut 2-3 inches off all over my head! i seriously cried)

The past 20 something years i WAS NOT taking care of my hair like i should have! No wonder it was breaking off. So i made a vow...i wanted to embark on a life journey (well i started off making the goal for a year...but i hope to carry it on life long since it has been working so well for me!)....

A journey to be better spiritually....physically....and to improve the health of not only my well being, but of my hair as well.

And a year later...i would have to say that i have done all of the above.
Wearing my hair in its natural state (VERY CURLY...and of course nappy...LoL) has made me dig deep and create a better appreciation of me...and what God has made me out to be.  This journey had allowed me to become better spiritually....mentally....physically....and in all other aspects of my life.  in my early years (i would say high school through the time i graduated from college) i was made fun of so many times for having natural hair.  If i got paid $5 for every time someone tried to convince me to get a perm...i would be able to pay my car note for a few months! So to hide my natural naps and kinks i would just wash and flat iron my hair so i would not have to deal with explaining my hair situation to ppl who just did not understand why i did not desire to get a perm.

I am so happy that i decided to stay in my state of mind...and not do anything crazy to my hair (because so many ppl tried to get me to...and there were times i almost gave in because i just did not know how to do my hair) Now it makes me some what giggle now that i see some of the main ppl who teased me trying to "go natural" now.  I think it is a HUGE craze right now...not sure if it will go away or just get worse...but i am proud to say that i have been natural all my life! It is just sad it too me so long to embrace my curls and naps and to be 100% happy with them.

I am still on this journey....but today....i can look in the mirror...and smile. I can be happy of the woman that i have become and the things that i have achieved over the past year.
So with these goals being crossed off of my list...it guess it is time to sit down and create some new ones :-)

 a hair style that i don't wear too often...i just had the underwater shoot and did not have time to re-twist it (like the pic above) so i did a wash and go...

 i put heat on my hair for the first time in a year yesterday to get ready for the photo shoot...

 then i flat ironed it (for the first time in a year) and braided it to get a braid out...it looked amazing for the photo shoot!!

 pictures from the past photo shoots to come soon! just waiting for them to get edited :-)