...BlAcK GoDdEsS...

Saturday, June 18, 2011

well in my effort to get past the thoughts of Mr. Rodeo Cowboy (AKA Mr. Big)
i decided to jump back on the horse.
the horse of trying to find someone that is good for me...
someone who will truly appreciate me...
respect me...
and treat me like the way a woman should be treated

against my better judgment i decided to hop back onto online dating...
i made this choice because lets face it i live in a small town.
and after Mr. Rodeo Cowboy...trying to find a "townie" (our word for locals in this area)
is just not ideal AT ALL!
so...online dating it is...

so i create my profile...
put a few simple facts about myself...
and then submit it and see what kind of ppl send me messages.
well, initially i get a good amount of older men (like more than 10 years older than me) sending me messages..men with children (nothing against ppl with children...to be honest i don't mind but if you are 23 and have 3 kids that def raises a red flag in my mind) and the list goes on of men who are NOT ideal for me to "date"

...until one night....i get a message....

well then i get a message from a guy...who does not live too far away.
He meets my height and age requirements (and not divorced and no kids)
we chat for a few days...you know ask questions...overall conversate
after somewhat breaking the ice this guy (who does not have a "Mr." name yet because i have not known him long enough to give him one...) proceeded to tell me that i am a "Black Goddess"...

LMAO!!!

i have been told a lot of things...but never in my life have i been called a goddess...or a black one for that matter.

It just baffles me how guys actually treat women.
No i am not saying what he said offended me in any way. and to be honest the conversations we have are great and he is a really nice guy. i am thinking of guys in the past at how you first meet them...and then at some point...something clicks in their mind and they decided to stop acting like the person you initially met. they stop being the way that drew you into their personality and into your world. they stop trying to impress you and some turn to being down right disrespectful. and i just wish i could find out or be given some sort of clue as to why they result to turning into something that you do not expect at all. do they do it to get rid of you? or do they do it because that is the person they actually are and it is just hidden until you get to know them more and the true person comes out? well whatever the case i guess it is good that i see that side of them sooner than later. so i can save myself from being stuck with someone who was not worth my time or my love.


I thank God everyday for the opportunities he has given me and the people he has put in my life...and i guess those guys were put in my life to teach me a lesson? I'm still trying to figure it all out...but in the meantime i am gonna continue to search and find someone who is right for me...he is out there...and i am determined to find him (hopefully sooner than later!)