BeAuTy

Monday, June 30, 2008

I aspire to make my own personal photo album of pictures i have taken of all the things i find beautiful for example...the sunset and the sunrise...

the ocean in hawaii (other than texas my other fav place to be in the world...)

the golf course...on a nice cool morning when its not too hot or cold and there r just enough clouds to make it slightly shady and a nice breeze....

TEXAS!!!!!! (my home town :) )

flowers!!!!! these are a mix of my fav....

the list goes on....ill add more pix soon :)

until next time......CIAO!

"im walkin thru the spider webs...leave a message and ill call you back"...

Sunday, June 29, 2008

well last night was a BLASSSST!
i got off of work and was trying to text ppl and find out what was going on. NOBODY was doing anything. it was still early so me and my roomey decided....party at the crib! LoL
we went and bought some BBQ stuff (hamburgers...chips...hotdogs....etc) and just sent out a mass text and made a few phone calls. It was slow at first but it ended up turin out pretty kool...we had quite a few ppl show up...mostly hungry football players wantin free food...LoL but it was kool...they were nice and we popped fireworks...it was an early 4th of july celebration. Not to mention i started drinkin at 7pm and didn stop till 1...not tomention i had to work at 7 am to 11 pm today! yes i am at work right now strugglin to stay awake! but it was def worth it...we will for sure have to do it again soon

i think the hormones make me think crazy thoughts...no wonder guys think that females r crazy...b/c i look back on some of my thoughts/what i write down and cant help but think why i was thinkin that stuf...i guess thats y i like to think b4 i act or say n e thing...jus to make sure that im not overthing/over reacting to something...but its kool...hence why i have this and other ways to expres my thoughts and feelings so that i can work those kinda things out in my head.

i miss home...
i am almost reachin my goal of gettin a car...a nissan altima...black...leather seats...sunroof...i would say its a good $12000....im half way there! maybe i might put $4,000 down and try to finance the rest...hmmm good thought...but i will have to see how much more $ i can make this summer so it dosnt break my wallet...u know i gotta stay ballin...dont wanna end up broke and like every other college student scrapin pennies just to get stuff i want....

mr and mrs phillips r supose to be commin up the weekend of the 4th...might get cancelled b/c of the whole flood thing thats going on...

well right now i cant think of n e thing else to say...might write again later today/night since i gotta be at work for 6 more hours....

until next time..........

Reggae Hour!!!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

WEEK 4:2 of 8...

well as i walk into work today the lab techz are jamming out to good ole BoB Marley!!! might i add that these ppl are not the "youngest"ppl that work in the lab..i just that it was kool...so i get my reggae hour while I'm at work which ALWAYS puts me on the right track and in a gr8 mood!

Well i am reflecting back on the events of this summer...and i am still sad that my lakers did not pull thru and get the big W in the chip...*sigh* maybe next year...I'm just happy they made it this far. ppl were doubting my boy Kobe but yet again he pulled threw...its Kobe against the world! he will always have me as a fan!!! oh and i am a die hard Lakers fan...regardless of if they r having a good season or not...ive loved them since way back in the day when Magic was doing his thing down in LA...gotta say my did had it on ESPN and as a kid i watched alot of bball...especially the lakers...

Better than MJ? that is the question that i hear argued many nights over some hot wings and cold beers...lets look at the logistics of it...for this current time...i would have to say yes Kobe is great...you cant put Kobe against MJ b/c MJ is old and as much as some ppl don't want to believe he has lost a little bit of his magic...i mean c'mon did MJ pull 81pts in one game? yes Kobe had few assists and other stats but he did it to prove a point...I would definitely have to say that Kobe is one of the best in the league right now...its going to be hard for someone to come up and outdo him until Kobe too gets old...maybe next year!

until next time.....

Monday, June 23, 2008

Well i would have to honestly say that i am a happy person...care free...thankful for all the little things that life blesses me with. But i mean everyone is allowed to be sad once n a while...right?

i thought i found happiness...but some days those things that i found to be so comforting are starting to turn sour. thats why i question if i am trying to turn water into wine or build a 3 course mean outof rocks and mold...(weird ref...i know but that was the first thing that popped into my head...LoL)...

i would honestly say that i am over my ex...yes we dated for 2 1/2 year...and yes my heart was broken...that is something i NEVER want to go thru again. I think the thing that kills me the most is to see him so happy (yes only 3 months after we broke up...a little fast for someone to b so in love with me right? maybe i am just weird but i think that was kinda fast...) i guess deep down all i want is to be happy. and when i say happy i mean with a male partner happy. i find enjoyment in all the little things i do in life, but when i lay down each night to go to sleep i want someone to call and say good night to...or to say "i love you" again...or even to get random emails or text thruout the day of him telling me that he misses me or cant wait to see me later...i haven't had that n a while and i honestly don't know when/if i ever will....when i meet a guy i want them to like me for me..and i think at times i try to hard. if i let u in i let u in fully and i guess i expect the same of the other person but that is not the case...if you are gonna be busy or wont have time to sit and text/chat like we usual do let me know...that way my mind wont wonder with the 101 different thoughts that will run Thur my mind until i hear from you 2 days later...and why do i always have to send the first line of communication...can i get a "good morning and hope you have a good day text"? these things my ex did and i miss...but when i look back on him and what he stood for as far as me...i don't think it was meant to be...yes that was hard to see at first Thur all the questions and tears but i later saw that...i don't want someone who isn't going to be there for me 110%...and i don't want someone to make fun of or down things that i have a interest in...u don't have to like or enjoy it but u can support me...the list goes on...i guess god hasn't put him in my life yet...maybe he has and i just don't know it...but i think I'm just ready to settle down and just have that one person to go to...i want to love again...yes i still believe that love doesn't exist b/c i have yet to truly see it...if you love someone it is everlasting and you will do anything for that person and always be there for them no questions asked. i do get that love with my sorority sisters b/c i know that if i called one of the right now needing something they would be by my side...but with a MAN...i haven't found it yet...i guess some ppl are just wrapped up in their own lives to include someone else right now...i try to be patient but someday/nights it gets hard...esp every time i log into my myspace or facebook and see on my mini feed "i love you" or "me and my baby" pictures...it hard to avoid and i will always be there until i find that type of happiness again...i wish god would give us hints to what ppl or what things he is going to put n our life...but i guess if he did that we would not learn the lessons and do 1/2 the things that we do now...*sigh* oh well...maybe one day....hopefully sooner than later...or maybe its just the good lord saying I'm not ready yet and i haven't fully healed...that could b it b/c i think Ive found a wonderful person but at times i just don't know what to think....i need to study more...maybe it will keep it off of mind...

until next time.....

Sade- Kind of Sorrow

I'm crying everyone's tears

And there inside our private war

I died the night before

And all of these remnants of joy and disaster

What am I suppose to do

I want to cook you a soup that warms your soul

But nothing would change, nothing would change at all

It's just a day that brings it all about

Just another day and nothing's any good

The DJ's playing the same song

I have so much to do

I have to carry on

I wonder if this grief will ever let me go

I feel like I am the king of sorrow, yeah

The king of sorrow

I suppose I could just walk away

Will I disappoint my future if I stay

It's just a day that brings it all about

Just another day and nothing's any good

The DJ's playing the same song

I have so much to do

I have to carry on

I wonder will this grief ever be gone

Will it ever go

I'm the king of sorrow, yeah

The king of sorrow

I'm crying everyone's tears

I have already paid for all my future sins

There's nothing anyone

Can say to take this away

It's just another day and nothing's any good

I'm the king of sorrow, yeah

King of sorrow

I'm the king of sorrow, yeah

King of sorrow

Saturday, June 21, 2008

"shifting eyes, wondering mind, fragile heart"

One fine summer day i was walking down the street

i was in my jive...my swag was apparent to see

as i glance up from sending a text on my cellphone

i catch a glimpse of a girl that i use to know

i use to know her very well if i must say...

we went way back to the years of yesterday

yesterday when i was a child and still growing into to me

yesterday when we would talk and be friendly

but now and today that all has changed

to be honest i don't even know what to say

i know Ive put my hard feelings at bay

but for her i can tell she doesn't feel the same way

I'm glad you found a new friend that's loyal to you

maybe this friend wont judge or even try to help you

help you in the ways you asked me 2

but hey i guess that's not the definition of a friend to you

i can still tell you have a lot of feelings trapped deep inside

a lot of which come from your own pride

yea you have baggage that i cant tend too

but neither can any man that tries to get close to you

i guess these feelings are what harbor you

b/c i know i see it when i see you

and that smile i for sure can see through

Good Things Come to Those Who wait

well i am at work...it is 9:00 AM....

i just heard a guy that i work with call his wife and as she answered the phone his reply is "Hey Beautiful"....why cant i hear that everyday? LoL...yea i may try to act tuf but i do have a little soft side to me...

the past few days have kinda weird. i am reflecting on last weekend and the time i got to spend with "hip hop" and i really enjoy the time that we do get to spend together...i guess its the time that's in b/w that that confuses me sometimes....but then again i for one don't think I'm ready for a relationship yet and as he stated neither is he...but i guess that is just how it will work for now. i guess good things come to those who wait...

well the past few weeks i have been working 50+ hours at the hospital PLUS the job at the hotel PLUS the 3 summer classes i am taking...i still shock myself as to how well i have been able to balance it all. oh not to mention working out 3 times a week. I'm really gonna try to keep up with working out so i don't die when bball season starts again in august...plus i hate getting back in shape....that's one of the worst feelings when you get winded going up a few stairs...

Ive managed to find a little time to study for the MCATS b/w doing homework and procrastinating when i have down time at work. The nice part about working at the hospital is when i do work in the Lab or work nights i get to have alot of down time to do alot of my homework or look over my MCAT material which is a plus b/c if i was just being lazy at home i would have ZERO motivation to do it....

i am home sick :( i miss my little sister, my nieces and nephews (who i got to talk to last night!), as weird as it sounds my dad, my best budz back at home (Ashley and Shawn...oh yea and Cody and the other random ppl that i end up hanging out with when i make it home). it is just weird to see all my old friends and see how much they have changed and if they are still striving for the goals that they had set when we were younger....of course more than half of them haven't and are just living day to day...but at least they are still trying. i haven't been home since XMAS...this is the longest time i have been away without getting to go home which is crazy! it seems like forever...i think what i miss the most is the food!!!! I'm sorry but Midwestern food SUX! there is nothing like some good ole TEX-MEX that will bring a smile to your face...

back to the topic at hand...i keep asking myself am i trying to make something out of nothing? i wanted to make this blog so that i would have a way to express my thoughts rather than writing them down like i usually do but i don't always have my notebook at hand...so if i am with out it and need to get my thoughts out on paper now i can...and its is highly unlikely that anyone that i know will get to read this b/c they all are too busy with their own lives to worry about mine...i guess i kinda like it that way...sometimes....

oh well...until next time...