...ToDaY :-/...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

well today is Saturday 01.16.10

i am at home...i am tired but i cant sleep...i am restless but i cant seem to get settled or satisfied...its just one of those days...

trying to plan out my life...and having to deal with the ppl in my life...its a balance game...

i try to hide my feelings and how i truly feels, but at the end of the day i still feel the same deep down inside. i am just ready to see the path the lord open ups for me. i am patiently waiting for the many blessings that i dont have but i can suspect will come. the hard part is waiting. until then what do i do? i lack the motivation that i use to have and that is the big problem. i cant find the drive and motivation i use to have. i dont know where it went. i just want it back. i dont know if i need to pray more or what i need to do but i need to do something to get back into my routine. i am coming to this roads end and i need to be putting myself in 5th gear but it feels like im stuck in 4th gear about to shift down to 3rd gear. i dont know what to do. im not depressed or anything i just dont want to. i just need to have a "AH HA" moment and just kick start everything. maybe it will come tomorrow...or maybe there is still a chance with today.

*sigh*....what i want is not exactly what i need and what i need isnt exactly what i want....LoL...its a tough concept but that i how i feel. but oh well. i will keep truckin...

...................until next time...............