.....WhErE iS tHe eNd Of ThE rOaD...

Sunday, October 19, 2008

well yesterday we had a step show in bloonington, il...needless to say we lost. and yet again it was the butt of alot of problems for the week. trying to fit in practice and deal with trying to change the show was an issue. yet again disresepct was slashed out on ME...and you know i just cant take it anymore. what makes them think its ok to take their bad days outon me? maybe because im kinda the "lone ranger"...AKA is not my job 24/7...im in several other orginizations, i have a good job, and i do other things with my life that they do not do AT ALL! someone suggested jeliousy..and now i am starting to see that. We should have done the Texas show and we wouldnt have this problem like we have now....

but yea we got stopped by the cops twice (once b/c she didnt switch lanes when someone was pulled over by the police and the 2nd time b/c her light on her license plate was out...yea i know...WTF?) we left illionis at about 11....got back at 5 AM! i got us off track by 45 min b/c i didnt know i was supose to turn off onto another highway, but i fell asleep after that and i have no idea what else happened. we almost hit deer 3 times...went thru mystic fog twice...but by the grace of God we made it back safe. i got some good sleep i guess...i selpt from about 12:30 until we got to kville. and i woke up everytime she would slam on her breakand scream when deer would run into the road....but yea we will see how far it will carry me into the day

well....gotta go do some more work..then breakfast time! :)

....until next time....

....sChOoL....

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

This is me....everyday....

this picture depicts how i feel...almost everyday! LoL this damn anatomy class has me studying non stop! its not fun at all!!!!

well today was a good day

got some really good sleep last night (although me and HIM have spent the night with eachother for the past 6 nights but not last night :( i will admiti did miss havin him there but it was nice to stretch out in my bed and not have to worry about rollin over on anyone...but it is nice to have someone to snuggle up with...)

woke up...had some GOOD breakfast...even tho it was raining outside it made it pretty cold in the house. reminded me that winter time is coming soon :(

got dressed...and walked to class....classes were ok...oh and i listend to Foregn Exchange all morning. it just put a lil extra pep in my step for some reason...its nice when you find some songs that just motivate you throughout the day...


oh yea i called HIM to make sure he was awake early b/c he had a test to study for and i told him i would call and make sure he was up (b/c like me he will reset the alarm for like 30 more min or a hour...LoL...bad habit that i havnt done in a while! )

This is the first guy at Truman that i have "talked" to...and its weird but i like it. its nice to get to actually see that person and hang out...im def not use to that. all my most recent (well a majority of my relationships) have been long distance. so this is def new to me...i dunno i am starting to like him, well let me rephrase that. i already liked him, but its growing...i am somewhat holding back because i dont want to get my feelings hurt again. i mean with ray he was "too busy" for me...but was on the low with some other chick...i just dont want the same thing to happen. im tired of starting something with someone for it to end in a dead end...i have no regrets b/c you learn from every decision that you make...but i have been patient...the good lord has taught me to be patient...maybe this will turn out to be something really good for me...ill keep praying on it to see how it turns out.


ok here is the house situation...i am the only one that cleans, i am the only one who buys plastic silverwear,plates, cups or toilet paper/paper towels....erica will wake me up from my naps...she will come get my computerand not puts it back...food is going missing...the dishes never get cleaned...the list goes on...oh and one roomey hasnt paid rent or bills....and this isnt the first time...its just annoying!!! i hate it...i dunno its justnot fun at all...something needs to change or i really will go crazy!!!!


well bak to the books...took a little break to write out my thoughts...i need to do that more often...it really does help!

.....until next time....

....RiDe Em CoWbOy?... LmAo

Sunday, October 12, 2008

well...today...is a good day...well this past weekend was overall a good weekend.
despite spending time with HIM almost all weekend, it was really fun. i got to sleep in a little bit, even went to Columbia to do a lil shopping. it was just fun...HE who i originally had no interest in at all has now become my top interest almost each day. i mean its just so weird and random how things like this can just come up and bite you in your azz....LOL...well i didn't expect it at all. But i will say that i am having alot of fun and just will try to make the best out of what time we do get to spend together....

oh and i did not tell you about the step show(s)
our step show:
well the movie i tried to change and the outfit i rejected to buy oh so many times....are what cost us the trophy...LoL funny huh...just imagine...the ideas and concerns the prophyte has is what can actually help the show out....*sigh* oh well...AT LEAST ITS OVER!!!!! LoL

oh and TEXAS....yes yet again we played the alphas from tech...well i would say completely...we did not get approved...but you know my "ride or die" attitude about everything, i was down to go and do the show any way...well ALL the sororities backed out....sooo we pretty much walked away from $5000....uuuuh yea! i know....oh well....like i said before....AT LEAST ITS OVER!!!

me and britney are still weird...i mean i cant just be kool with you when u cant even attempt to try to be respectful to me...so why should i try? i know i would feel diff is it only happened once or twice...but not time after time...after time...no thanks!...fool me once, fool me twice, but never a 3rd time! (not sure if that is the right analogy...LoL)


well back to HIM...this whole situation is just so unexpected. i mean do u really ever anticipate meeting someone and actually start to like them? i mean after my bad luck streak i just never saw it to be possible, so maybe that is y i am still in awe about the situation...
but i am having fun...and he makes me laugh all the time...not to mention his eyes r amazing! LoL...oh & he has a really nice body...he is a gr8 kisser...& the list goes on...its nice 2have sum1 like that in the same city as me! most of my relationships have been long distance...so this is a nice change...

well enough with that...stay tuned

.......until next time......

....tHe LiGhT.....

Friday, October 10, 2008

well a few days ago i heard these words...." when i see these guys and then i see you, i don't even know why you give them your time...i just think you can do so much better..."

for the past few days those words have been ringing in my head...

and you know what is so bad...well good...is that after hearing that i actually think its true. i really had to lean back and look at my past. have i been lowering my standards just to have something in my life? is it better to have nothing rather than just settling for something? questions like that keep swimming in my thoughts and it makes me realize the person that i am and what i should be looking for.

good question...what am i looking for?

my track record for guys these past few years has been very eclectic with style and personalities...i mean what is my type? its like the question that was asked to Julia Roberts in "Run away bride" when she couldn't figure out how she liked to eat her eggs....well i think i am starting to figure that out...well i am trying too at least. at this point, yes i am young and a Lil goodlooking...LoL...but to be honest i don't want the random calls or texts, i want the reliability and ownership of a meaning relationship. yes i am getting "older"...but i experience so many things each day, but yet i do know have one person that i can share that with.

I'm gonna end on this quote....
Everyone walks down the road of rejection and resentment...that is when you pick up your pride, dust it off, and find something BETTER!

that is dedicated to YOU...the headliner...the beginning act...the whole show...and the after party...

i bid fair well...you can be selfish but not on my time...I'm sad it just took me this long to realize it...what was i holding on too? hopes, ambitions, what ifs? yea i think that's it...and while you were too busy not having time for me...I'm sure you made plenty of time for her....LoL..its OK...when you seem me years from now, living my dream....i wont be able to resist asking the question do you wish you were the man on my side...holding me down...most importantly living our dream off of my 6 or 7 figure salary checks? LMAO...oh well, you live, you learn, you make mistakes...but never...no regrets...from your biggest fan, to someone i cant even understand....this is to you, here is your kiss on the forehead....and my best wishes to you....

......until next time....