...BiRtHdAy...

Saturday, May 29, 2010

From everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness.

— Psalm 103:17-18 (NIV)

"Forever love is talked about in dime store novels, but only found in God. We tap that reservoir of eternal and divine love through the Holy Spirit who helps us both receive it and share it."

Today was a good day. Got up at 5:40 am and went to work. Had a pretty good day at work. it was pretty relaxing and the day went by pretty fast. I actually got to watch a movie while at work. i have been trying to watch movies at work during my down time before i start studying again. yes it takes me 1/2 as long to watch the movie b/c i have to stop it to do work or go work with patients. but it is a great way to past the time. But today i wanted "Dear John". it was such a good movie. It was very emotional and i am sure it portrays what happens in society. you can only imagine what the troops are overseas doing to protect us and do the work that the good lord is sending them to do. i pray everynight for the safe return of our troops so they can make it back to their loved one safe.

Yesterday was my moms birthday. She was born in 1957. It is so hard to think that she is still gone. It did bring our family close together but i hate that it was at the expense of losing my mom. yes i was slightly sad, but i just know that she is in a better place with my grandma and grandpa and all my aunts and uncles that have passed away over the years and they are all looking down on us and smiling (at least i hope they are...LoL)...but Happy Birthdayay mom.... i def miss you....

.......until next time....

...ToDaY...

Thursday, May 27, 2010

"I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given to me -- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."

Acts 20:24

Well these past few days/weeks have def been one for the books... i went to STL this past weekend and i had alot of fun! got to see alot of old friends and i got to see my ship!!! that was the best part. when i see them again it makes me miss them more and more because i know that i will have to leave soon.

got to go out to eat...went to my first baseball game!!! went to the zoo...went to six flags. went to the science center. and went to a pretty kool club. got to see 2 past ppl...it was ok i guess...LoL...but like i said i got to see my girls...oh and i got to shop! i found some awsome things...but now i am mad that i spent the $...LoL its ok. i have been saving up so it wasnt bad. i didnt spend that much.

I am going to activly become more spiritual. i have decreased cursing by 80% (and i am so proud of myself!!!) and now i am going to read a new bible verse...one each day....oh and my morning/nightly prayers.
its going to be hard but i know it is something that i want to do and something that i need to do. i need to feel better spiritually and i think it will put me where i need to be when i start a new chapter in my life.
work on my spiritual and physical health and i know that i will wake up each day feeling better and enjoying the day so much more. i know that i need to work on me and that is what i plan on doing :)

i love the summer....but not the humidity that comes with it.,..LoL
it will be fun. not classes. so i will have less to worry about. and i will just focus on studying for the MCAT. i HAVE to do good. i dont have a choice. and if i dont then i know that i need to find another life plan. and i dont want to do that so i will take this time to work hard and plan my life out. and save up. and knock some things off my need/want/and to pay for list.

i do feel very blessed. i look at all the things and people the good Lord has put in my life and i know that i would not have made it this far without his help. i put my trust and my faith in him and i know he will lead me in the right direction. i am a servant unto him and live each day to carry out his work.

this is a creed/saying i came up with on my own. i am sure i will be altering/adding to it. but this is what i have so far...

...First let us give glory to the lord father almighty. Father of heaven and earth, creator of all things. He hath made this soul and this body, and may his grace, wisdom, and patients be bestowed upon me. We ask that he bless all of his children, for he is worthy of praise. Amen...

....until next time....

...WiNdOw SeAt...

Friday, May 14, 2010

...EvOlViNg...



this is a really good song. erykah badu has always come out with a wide rage of songs. no i dont like all of them but i have found several that i really enjoy.

the concept of this song and video are def different than alot of the videos that are out today. compared to the beyonce or lady gaga dance sequences or crazy adventures thru a fairy land. i would have to say it is def one of my fav. like common's "i want you video". very realy...and it has alot of big name ppl in that video. despite it being a great song it has a great video.
the thing that i hate the most is when i hear a song and i finally see the video and the video is awful...changes your viewpoint of what the song means in some way. but that is just me...

......until next time....

...SkYpE...

Thursday, May 13, 2010

well i am finally caught up on the "new" times. i used skype for the first time yesterday!!

the first person i talked to was jennifer. it was so cool. it was like she was just there. it was way better than talking on the phone!. it is nice to actually b able to see the person you are talking too. i also talk kenten (he is in iraq!!) we talked last night and for over 4 hours today! (well that incudes all the connection prob we had...LoL) i def saw a new side of him today. usually when i talk to him he is kinda quiet and reserve. today he was joking around and it was like a real convo. it was nice. he is very funny and his thick country accent cracks me up! LoL i kept makin fun of him about some of the words he was saying. but it really was a good convo! it really makes me excited to talk to him again. who knows when that will be. he is over seas doing God knows what to protect us. It just worries me! makes me think back to when shawn was over there. i worried everday. i just pray and put my heart out to all of the troops. pray that they are safe and are able to make it back safe to their families.

school is out! i am BORED! LoL

i sleep in until around 8 or 9, wake up, and lay there...n bed...watch TV....get up....eat....shower....watch more TV....

today i was def gettin tired of that. so i am def making a change starting tomorrow (even tho it is friday). i am gonna dedicate more time to the gym...and set dates/times to studying for the MCAT and GRE. gotta do good! dont want to be stuck in this spot next year. gotta get into a program so i can finally get done with school and start my real life! i cant wait. i know i still have a long road in front of me but i am ready for it.

...............until next time.............

...BrEaKiNg ThE wAlL...

Thursday, May 6, 2010

this is me :)

i am standing in front of the wall i built for "Breaking the wall"
we had students, faculty, & staff build a wall of bad words/mean things that have been said about them. this was done over about a week. we collected about 500 bricks!!! and after this picture my ship ashley gave a speach and then we tore it down. it was great. this is our 2nd time to do it. it was alot of fun to just talk to people on campus and to get the bricks painted. thanks to my sister (jennifer) she helped me out ALOT and so did erica. it was fun and i am happy the event went very well.

just wanted to share...and this was a great pic and i wanted to share it :)

...............until next time................

...nO mAs...

NO MORE SCHOOL!! (for now)...LoL

took my last final today at 9:30 AM...hope i did ok on it. had a mid B n the class so hopefully i kept the B!

kelsey is leaving me on sunday :( it will def be a sad day...just about as bad as when aubrie left me. i am def gonna miss her and i hope that we can try to make timet to meet up and hang out! she def if a good friend for life and i am greatful that i got the chance to get close to her.

ok sooo be so proud of me!!

ok so cedric is in STL for work. he has made several hints that he is "closer" and that he wants company...but i am just playing along. the old stephanie would have already made plans to go meet up with him!

about a week ago i sent him a email...and he replied...in a sense of....you are just a friend. so i will no longer go out of my way to please him (or any other dude for that matter). i am just so tired for puttin in 90 % to only get 10% back. so now i am not. hopefully the lord will put someone in my life who will show intrest and put in just as much efforts as i do. but until then i will patiently wait...and no bend over backwerds for ppl (esp sum guy who isnt going to make a lasting impression in my life). :)

oh well....gonna go find sumthin to do while im at work :)

..........................until next time................

...FeAr...

Sunday, May 2, 2010

(Drake talking)
This is why I do this shit.
I think they call this, umm, venting.


(Verse 1)
Look Uhh. This is me.
Still the same.
They want the hits.
I play the game.
No auto tune, but you can feel the "Pain".
It all comes spilling out like I hit a vein.
What up lil' Bruh? What up SlumVille?
I hope you know that y'all the reason I have fun still.
The fans thinking that we all signed for one mill'.
Equal opportunity rapping, that shit is unreal.
That ain't how it works.
That ain't that how it goes.
And I been getting high just to balance out the lows.
And I could use a writer just to balance out my flows.
But I never share my thoughts, This is all a nigga knows.
And every time I try, it opens up my eyes.
These verses are a chance to be remembered and reprised.
And I would be performing this as long as I'm alive ,
So every word I utter will be mine.


(Chorus)
Dont believe the lies. Look me in my eyes.
Please don't be scared of me.
Please don't be scared of me.
I remember you.
This feeling isn't new.
So please don't be scared of me.
Please don't be scared of me.
Oh oh oh oh ooh yah.


(Verse 2)
(Don't take this the wrong way but uhh)
I never cried when Pac died.
But I probably will when Hov does.
And if my tears hold value, then I would drop one for every single Thing he showed us.
And I'll be standing in a puddle.
I stay away from niggas that could land me in some trouble.
And I'ma keep it honest.
I'm so tired of being subtle.
It's just me, Forty, O, and Nek standing in a huddle.
Staring at the members of my team.
Who get questioned about they profit from this million dollar scheme.
Just know that am in debt for you defending all our dreams.
I hope you tell your families this shit ain't what it seems.
But y'all the reason for a lot of my devotion.
You know I spend money because spending time is hopeless.
And know I pop bottles 'cuz I bottle my emotions.
At least I put it all in the open.


(Chorus)
Don't believe the lies.
Look me in my eyes.
Please don't be scared of me.
Please don't be scared of me.
I remember you.
This feeling isn't new.
So please don't be scared of me.
Please don't be scared of me.
Oh oh oh oh ooh yah.


(Verse 3) Look.
Fuck all y'all.
We ignore feelings here.
Premature millionaires.
Welcome to my realest year.
Yeah.
I swear that we making a killing here.
I should be on top of the world here just chillin' here.
Uh. But it's funny having fans.
Who find you before anybody ever has the chance,
and build you up so You could be the biggest in the game.
And realize when you're there,
Sometimes the shit don't feel the same.
Yeah. And plus things are just surreal at home
People think I've changed just because my appeal has grown
And now security follow me everywhere
so I never actually am alone, I just always feel alone.
I think I'm scared of what the future holds.
I was wishing for some things and now am used to those.
Every girl I meet thinks I'm fucking groupie hoes.
The honesty of my music has left me too exposed.
All my old friends think I got a new crowd.
And people seem to notice every time I do smile.
I guess that mean they come few and far between.
Even though am living out what you would call the dream.
Yeah. And my uncle ain't even messaging me.
And him missing in my life is kind of messing with me.
I hope this isn't one of those forever things.
It's funny how money can change everything.


(Chorus)
Don't believe the lies.
Look me in my eyes.
Please don't be scared of me.
Please don't be scared of me.
I remember you.
This feeling isn't new.
So please don't be scared of me.
Please don't be scared of me.
Oh oh oh oh ooh yah.