...ToDaY :-/...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

well today is Saturday 01.16.10

i am at home...i am tired but i cant sleep...i am restless but i cant seem to get settled or satisfied...its just one of those days...

trying to plan out my life...and having to deal with the ppl in my life...its a balance game...

i try to hide my feelings and how i truly feels, but at the end of the day i still feel the same deep down inside. i am just ready to see the path the lord open ups for me. i am patiently waiting for the many blessings that i dont have but i can suspect will come. the hard part is waiting. until then what do i do? i lack the motivation that i use to have and that is the big problem. i cant find the drive and motivation i use to have. i dont know where it went. i just want it back. i dont know if i need to pray more or what i need to do but i need to do something to get back into my routine. i am coming to this roads end and i need to be putting myself in 5th gear but it feels like im stuck in 4th gear about to shift down to 3rd gear. i dont know what to do. im not depressed or anything i just dont want to. i just need to have a "AH HA" moment and just kick start everything. maybe it will come tomorrow...or maybe there is still a chance with today.

*sigh*....what i want is not exactly what i need and what i need isnt exactly what i want....LoL...its a tough concept but that i how i feel. but oh well. i will keep truckin...

...................until next time...............

...5 YeAr PlAn...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

well now instead of short term goals....im gonna focus on the long term things....

so with that being said here is my 5 year plan:

1. be in medical school
2. while in medical school have saved up some $ and hav invested it and is making some kind of profit while going broke at the same time (off of those school lons :-/ )
3. be in a serious relationship (yes i said it...time to settle down and get serious with someone who appreciates me, who wont cheat on me, and someone that i can love again...but until then please belive i am gonna have fun!!!! LoL )
4. have some kind of stock or equity....i need to start to build my empire right now!!!!
5. become even closer with my family,....we are working on communications but we can always improve!
6. become closer to God...i know anyone can always do a better job at their spiritual growth.
7. have a new car or have my current car paid off!!
8. be in minimal credit card debt (i have already paid off one and im about to pay off another!! things are already lookin good!)

this is just a start. it is easier to look at and abide by when it is in writing. so now that it is said...it shall be done...and im sure i will find more and more things that i can/will add to this list.

....................until next time....................

...NeW yEaR...

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

it is a new year

cant wait to see what it brings

i have already done more than i prob should have...but its def a new and diff start to the new year


guess i will have to wait and see what 2010 brings...

..............until next time..........